it is the month of november...and it started quite well as miracle sat upon my lap for me to go experience missionary work in Thailand,Udon Thani. I am looking forward to it and I am learning more each day to be selfless and focusing much on Jesus and His ministry.

today I fell ill and went to the doc's at TTSH, they diagnose me to have a throat infectionwhich is a spiral to my fever earlier in the week. Felt so helpless in bed but did spend ample time with God by praying for people and events, doing book study and worshipping Him with praise and song. Then thought about her and what happened last night. I shouted at her again. She wanted me to go from Bukit Timah to Paya Lebar to see her because she is sick. Granted I would but it is 10 plus at night and I have no money.How am I to do that? Conveniently I fell sick that morning. Both of us fell sick actually, perhaps God is trying to tell us,"HELLO! WHO IS THE BOSS HERE..." When girls want affection, they need it desperately? or what? a testing to play around to see if their partner loves them only? I have enough of games cos I want God. All this mean nothing if He is not glorified. She wouldn't be happy if I do this, I have a feeling she won't. When she is moody, the whole world revolves around her. She cannot understand that I need to go for mission training and do church work in order to equip and immense myself in full pledge of Faith to Him. Winning His favor! Then the rest will come in place. Queen Esther in the bible has to stay in the fragrance pool for a whole six months in order to win favor from King...WOW


"Now the young woman pleased him, and she obtained his favor; so he readily gave beauty preparations to her, besides her allowance. Then seven choice maidservants were provided for her from the king's palace, and he moved her and her maidservants to the best place in the house of the women" (Esther 2:9).
What an example! The first thing that happens when we come into favor with the King is that God will move us into the royal palace—the place of ruling and reigning. The next thing that will happen is God will say, "Give him/her an allowance!" Wouldn't we all like the King of the universe to give us an allowance because we found His favor? "Here is a line of credit!" Her exciting life-story goes on:
"Now it happened on the third day that Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the King's palace, across from the King's house, while the King sat on his royal throne in his royal house, facing the entrance of the house. So it was, when the King saw Queen Esther standing in the court, that she found favor in his sight, and the King held out to Esther the golden scepter that was in his hand. Then Esther went near and touched the top of his scepter, and the King said to her, "What do you wish, Queen Esther? What is your request? It shall be given to you— up to half the kingdom!" (Esther 5:1-3)

I want to be like Esther. very much to have that one mindedness to win favor. What is important now? Loving the Almighty, if God grants love then the love will be lasting and true, not of superficial gains and petty works that strokes the heart. The love granted by God will be of Corinthians 13...thru Him it is possible! I believe in Jesus.

will continue my previous story another day...I feel so alone in this sometimes...like Job, and his wife is terrible as I've read about it just today while doing BS.

she is doe-eyed and beautiful, a class work of God but I pray for all sickness that takes color from her to be ousted in the name of Jesus. So that she can think and her mind be acended to the realms of heaven to hunger for your glory. She has the heart lord but show her the way, for she has to know that the faith you put in us will cause us everything, the christian faith is a hard faith...carrying the same cross all the way to the calvary like Jesus, to die to our sins and know CHrist! Amen