A forbidden fruit that dangles

25 years of age soon...in October that is! How celebrative or sad it can turn out with the kind of thoughts that builds up till that day of my birth. I never really want to celebrate my birthday but who am I kidding? I love the blowing of candles and people singing the birthday songs for me, I am such a sucker for such birthday cliches, however a part of me wants to kill it and let the lonely me emerge. Why? Do I not honour the God that place me in this world? Do I not want to grasp the destiny given to me by HS Himself? What is it?

It isn't about God. It is my flesh crying for companionship and I have been suppressing it for longest time with the blessings of great friends and biblical truths that sustained me till now. However that cannot deny my thoughts about it...Is this why God say it isn't good for a man to be alone? I am sure He has His reasons for saying that and I just have to wait for Him to unveil the answer page to a book called Ian's love life. I am feeling terrible but I choose to wait. I rather God destiny than "MY" choosing...still I do not deny the fact that my ex girlfriend has been a lot on my mind in recent times. Really love her lots though previous circumstances doesn't seem right for us to be together. But now? Forget it...she is trying to stand already, she doesn't need another bloke like me to hurt or discontinue something which she has already started in her new life. All the best to her...frankly she is one person that I find it really difficult to put aside always...sigh...how sinful I am and yet God chose me and showed me the various wonders by Him.

*Secret* I think I just may have the hearts for someone...but than again I need to suppress it. It isn't the right time, it might not be her also right ian...tsk tsk. Jesus, I need to look to You to get out of this mess of thoughts because You are preparing me for something BIG.

I was doing my sermon on "Will The Real Strong Christian Please Stand Up?" and it was the last point about...3) Seeing the Salvation...and I had a mind block! I prayed and God prompted me in a soft voice, "ian, go take a short nap right now!" I was like WOAH...okay perhaps there is some dream kinda revelation HS wants to reveal to me because this wasn't the first time. Hence I slept and slowly it began.

I was found standing on a big square with parquet flooring
nice lightings and mass of people filling the square hall in
small clusters here, there and all around.Then a sharp pain!Realised
that I was hurt.From amidst the mass of people,emerged a little girl
with a first aid box seemingly running to me and she did.I asked her
"Who are you?"
She says "I am your daughter, silly dad"
And she tended to my wound.
Next a tugging of my arm brought my eyes to a young boy
and he said
"Dad,look out there!The world wants to conform me but I won't let it"
This boy is my son.

I woke up with amazement. A half hour nap that made me think very much. However an ease came in, why? Because I knew somehow that in my dream,the square hall was my church and if my son and daughter emerges from the mass of people in there with such character shown. I am rest assured that the church is fulfilling the cause of Jesus! Onwards Brighton Youth Ministry, to raise up young men and women differently from the world's popular culture. Thank you Jesus, for such divinity within your given dream.



Tell the world that "Jesus Lives!" don't forget ya ( .V. ) p