Nodame POWER!!!

Been spending some time watching my favorite Jdrama online titled "Nodame Cantabile Live Action" There are some life lessons I certainly can take over there. She fights so hard just to be on par with someone she really loves and she fights with the things she loves most which is music. She don't dare to face music as it is but to overcome the barrier, she does it in order to be close to him but in turn she becomes a musical genius which Chiaki Sempai already is.

Both of them have the same love but another layer is within which is their love for one another which is subtle but endearing. I need to strive, but for who and what? I need to start journaling, otherwise my students from the AMAZING 2 HOPE will definitely fine this bloggy real lame and boring.

My birthday has passed and boy did I started my own party. Total cost is about $160+ so it is still alright. The girls from 2Hope were their usual self, so happy to see them all, they are like related to me as I am always elated to see them. Though not all of them came but it was okay cos I did invite them in the midst of their exams. Hope it did not cost them any distractions from their revision. Thank you aunties and uncles who let their daughters to my party.

Perhaps it will be the last party I will ever hold for myself. Next time I will rather have small dinner with a few close ones. It isn't because I didn't enjoy myself but there was just a tad feeling of loneliness that crept into the whole "birthdayness" of everything. Angela was there but it felt that she was sacrificing then wanting to come as it showed on her profile. However I cannot complain though she gave me a wonderful pre-birthday bash which I really don't need and don't usually celebrate but she insist so I patronize but it was a really sweet and I am appreciative. It is just that I just do not feel like it.

I am really beginning to suspect it is the nostalgia of my father's death and the whole pacifying thing about my immediate family which made me like this. And of course a whole load of issues which I sincerely offloaded.

I need to do something, something that will build my self confidence up to whole new level, I need a breakthrough. God?