Friday, July 25

have to wait that long just to see my dear...argh!
Listening to chopin now. One of my fave pianist though most favourite is of course the one who plays
occasionally for me (^_^)
Feel sleepy but don't wish to sleep
work awaits me tomorrow at my desk
I want them to all go away hence need to get all of them done
by this week that is.
My mom's birthday is coming
but I am as broke as can be
what am I going to do...have "dough" coming in on the 29th
so not all that bad.
Suppose to meet up with some of my friends today but in the end
all couldn't make it.
I wonder when Faith will be coming back
Miss her...and she says that she is more than willing to have me over to work for her.
Hope I could be up to the task.
I am getting rusty in theatre practice sigh!
Need to polish up as soon as NS nightmare is over.
where is dear today?
watching Bachelorette...maybe she wants to be one
fine. No qualms
I'll shut up now
Goodnight world

Thursday, July 24

A boy tried all means and ways to convince his parents to buy this toy which he has set his eyes on.
He also managed to be thrifty and saved enough just to prove his eagerness.
And finally he bought it. He treasured it and loved it. He gave all attention to it that everything was
just its background.
As years passby...the toy stood on the shelf
the eagerness that was on it grew up and set his sights on others.
dust settles slowly on the toy
soon forgotten.
As more years passby, the eager boy turned grey
grey in age that is.
He looked into the box which he kept his past
found something familiar
the toy which he loved. He regret and wept.
Why did he grew up?
I don't want to grow up cos I always want to love the toy.
It's that feeling of being with it lost but rekindled,
however too late
I really wish I won't grow up.
Peter Pan I can be?

YAWN! Sleepy...I'll turn in now

Monday, July 21

:( Made my dear cry again
all I want to do is to be with her
though maybe I have thought of isn't
really meant for it to be.
Apologised to her...
Told her about clothes that will look good on her. Insult or
compliment? She doesn't like it
I need to be empathatic, otherwise she'll be hurt again.
Always feel sad when she crys. But after she crys, she smiles again.
I'm confused by her sometimes.
Next week busy week. So many things to do and tuesday got volleyball tournament
which I don't think my ma'm would let me go. Hence
I have decided that I shall stay in office to do
work and more work...sigh
Argh! In two weeks my MOM's birthday
what the heck am I going to get her?
Last year I bought her cake and celebrated for her
so this year?

Sunday, July 20

It'll take forever for my dear to write her journal
sometimes I just want to know how she feels about certain things
today was was as usual...really dreading monday to come
my dear brought me all the way to pasir ris today.
There was a whole lot of commotion going on as fire engine was everywhere
people were in herds staring up at the building as if someone is attempting to
commit suicide.
Then next thing I knew, Yuan brought me to Rina's house.
The parents were great except for the father who was a tad bit quiet
but the mother was really chatty.
Yuan's friends are really special as she herself is.
Hope she treasures them all.

Monday, July 14

My dear hasn't update
well then I have to take the initiative
love is a curious thing
an adventure
it is definately more than a fling
cause it'll bring you up to an overture
My TOOT GIRLFRIENDlove her much
though all the fights and feisty encounters + petty issues
Comic Gallery at Alujunied.
My new hang out place
filled with loads of manga anime and movies and magazines
brought Cecilia there...bored as usual
don't expect her to read manga but at least she knows what my interest are
Sunday wasn't black cos my dear brightened it up so much for me!

Monday, July 7

Love labour lost's dying...slowly
lost conversation which had life,
meaning which lost its orgin
my will cut by a knife
a knife of nothingness, no care, no topic, just dead.
trying all dictionaries in the world to decipher
this feeling.
Perhaps the word "gone"
Ignorant of everything at last
just live for a better tomorrow alone
with a hung up phone
conversation more more more contact
world of greyish tinge that embodies the swollen heart
the left part walked left...the right part walked right
painful sight
just like a loose kite,
no where to go
but lost.
Hate it...what am I doing? What are you doing?

Sunday, July 6

yup...should have guessed...another lousy Sunday
all because I seem harsh in my words to Cecilia.
I have decided
I'm staying at home for future Sundays...cos I hate Sundays
think it's meant to be like that.
had enough
so tired
don't want another Sunday to be like that
wasting a day is so depressing.
Wanted to call a friend to talk but she is with Mr Sailor...all the best to her
though Yuan still hates the sights of her, even the mention of her name
Slept through today.
Felt quite refreshed
Have to face this week again...without much love and care
I don't think I want to care anymore
or maybe I didn't at the first place
I know she is angry at me cos I have misunderstood her
but it didn't seem that way for me
she ask me to go chom chom
after a fiasco like that
what's going through her head?
I can't get angry at her
when I look at her I smile
she can make me smile anytime but
when I am alone
all gloom comes back to me.
Tomorrow I am going to rehearsal.
Hope God can grant my flair and love for theatre to be back in my arms again
Today I declare
all my Sundays to be BLACK.
I'm is everybody
hate this feeling.

Thursday, July 3

I'm sleeping soon
Today was one of the better days
Mdm, only lectured me on certain things
and how I should think more logically
which I find it really hard
Meeting dear tom.
We will be eating at the Nasi lemak place
haven't tried it...perhaps it will taste really good...who knows
Argh! So sleeping...snoozing out
Hope tomorrow will be a better day
usual story...