Tuesday, February 28
when i was relatively young, i wanted to be a number of things. Here is a list of them.
4) Mother [wear my mum clothes that kind]
6) Kindergarden Teacher
7) Fruit- Seller
8) Satay Man
9) ...think that is about it :P
I was really into it and every phase of what I wanted to be, I'll be really diligent about it and work towards it. For example like the zookeeper, I'll take my dog "Lucky" and spray water on it, make it look all foamy on him then use the BIG TOILET SCRUB and scrub him as if he was an elephant or something...a make belief but it felt really good as it was so real to the real thing. Poor Lucky, a subject to my dream coming true.
as I grew up, things does change. Passion grew to other taste in life and character takes a shape to direct ian loy to something that is of long term and yet I will not want to regret doing even as I wake every morning. Something I want to do that will leave a mark on life itself and not just upgrading it for entertainment, pleasure or even money. What will it be?
What Ian would want to see himself doing?
1) Youth Pastor
2) Theatre Practitioner
3) Youth Counsellor
4) Event Coordinator
5) Performance Artist
6) Artistic Director
These are just a few which I can be right now. But have not...why? I am waiting on the Lord. He will make it all well and He has been. If He can give me a blessing liken to roxanne as I waited for 1year in my chosen solitude. Imagine the magnitude that He can impress upon my life doings...Lord, I'll wait and till then I'll be at the secret place waiting upon your answer. Please don't let my defiant knees leave the ground for I want to be found in your presence always. I pray.
Sunday, February 26
at winston's place having a stayover so to go to church the next morn. Missing her real bad. Only to understand that there is an end picture to look forward to :) my mum is going to Gold Coast in May06. I asked her if melbourne is one of her stop... she said "NOOOOO" and ian fainted :P
Saturday, February 25
Tuesday, February 21
the killing spree on Counter Strike
what fascination i have found within the hype of Counter-Strike [Source] the past few weeks. I cannot say i am hooked on it because it is something i can do without and I have absolute control over. Getting frustrated and angry over computer generated personalities is just too overwhelming and unnecessary for me. But besides me, what causes everyone around me to be hooked on this world winning game? Why is it addictive to younger people of today? How is it that alluring of young minds?
1) Ownership of something they can control
2) Freedom to choose to be bad or good
3) A buffet of guns to choose from executing others
4) Easy to remember mission: Plant bomb or kill others
5) Have all the money you want
6) Knowing all the best place to "camp" in order to be the highest fragger
Everything that is convenient for the player and all he or she needs to do is to master the skill of moving the character and the speed of putting the cursor on the enemy's temple for a head shot.
I have no qualms with it whatsoever just want to talk about it. That it is indeed interesting if we don't indulge too much in it. Otherwise we will get sucked in to a virtual world that does not belong us. The mundane world has already state their claims on people who does not know Him or reject Him. We can't have another world or for that matter a virtual world to take the innocence of young minds and have them believe that they can be heroes only in a machine generated by electricity.
Believers Are Salt and Light
13 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.
14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
If we are the light and salt of the earth, it means we are very important in this world that none of us are made to be useless and forgotten. Then we need to begin investigating our future in order to invest in it. What does a light do? It shines. What does a salt do? Be salty. We need to understand in our position what are we doing that can influence the flow of the world that surrounds us. We have a gift in all of us and in acknowledgement of Him, we need to explicit it. Paul told Timothy:
6For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
If we convince ourselves that this gift that God has given can change the world and having the spirit of what is mentioned above, God will grant us success. God blesses us even in our success as well becuase He meant for our success as He will us to be the head and not the tail, the above and not beneath.
Rev Kong Hee said this before: When you do the things that you have a natural talent for and you are gifted in, you will stay excited, passionate and energetic. Even if it is hard work, you will enjoy it because it'll be like "play" to you. All successful people discover thier strength and distinctive, and spend their entire life practicing those skills, honing them and becoming excellent.
then he also mention that when you are focused, you won't do things outside the right timing. That we be concerned about the season and timing of the Lord for your life. You will not live an unbridled and reckless life.
So this message actually got to me that even having the gift is not enough, that we need to put it into a focus that will bring it into a succession kind of revelation. For me gaming is only a side hobby, if I ever want to play CS as a serious serious kind...give me a gun and I would want to shoot down evey bad habit of my life that hides in corners and gets me everytime unexpectedly. These are the bad guys (habits) that perhaps will put me to death first before becoming a man of character, leader of nations, preacher of seasons and a loving father to his wife and children. I need to know my position in His kingdom, my giftings and my focus. Then I will succeed in time. What I am today is only the tip of an iceberg, there is depths to explore and who I am today is really the grounding of truth that the bible speaks of on my life. He speaks about you too, give yourself a chance to listen.
Faithfulness is one value the men of this world lacks, but it is the cornerstone of his Character. Don't you think?
Sunday, February 19
Wednesday, February 15
looking over my arm and there was it. she pinched it for who knows what kind of reason, however it is my temporal photo album for now.
I just came back from a tim sum session with another aussie friend that stays near to the melbourne university. Oh how i wish I could just go over to Aussie and study there on a Shell-NAC scholarship, but I choose to stay and see what God has for me because if I go and venture I might not have what I have right now. There have been so many opportunities given to me this period that threw me off course in my journey and made me think what I really want and what He really want is totally different. God's plan is always higher than men's plan, He has a purpose for me and I am beginning to have a glimpse of it.
A blessing named rox was included and my life really became more blissful and understood how completeness can be in moments here and there. I know she is a few thousand miles away and I know things might "happen" but I don't wish to give up , instead I commit. I wish to have faith and want it to happen cause many others have given up on hope and perfection.
I choose this way because my God's character has duplicated on me. Unconditionally...I chose it :) what is impossible with man is possible with God. Things of the world will pass but He stands forever and so are the words and pillar of faith that stands within His children. If we grasp the concept of Him, hearts will see a tad clearer. There is a confidence in a future. We are the light of the world and the salt of the earth if we don't have the confidence, who will?
Just prayed for you :)
tomorrow leading worship in TCA. I need to stop being in debts with my homework and start handing it up on time. By this weekend all debts will be cleared. I need to master this human experience and understand that I need to live in a excellence to be able to be a greater blessing to other people. I will start anew in my vision that He has given me. And see where the HS will bring me to...in a few months I believe He will bring me to a whole new level of perspective and prosperity in my life. It is coming for I am already blessed by a half "You know that right?"
Cheerios...next entry will be "Killing Spree" stay tuned for it wouldn't be so lovey dovey...VALENTINE's DAY is OVER muhahahaha...
a story i hear from my aunt june, the youngest daughter of my grandma. She told me that my grandma when she was really young like in her teens, she was an heiress to many lands in hainan island. Wherever she wishes to go, she will be brought around by a sedan chair with servants attending to her every need. A kinda Paris Hilton I thought...but my grandma is one filled with rich morals and values not like the celebrity mentioned. Hence how did she end up here in Singapore with my Sailor cum Chef grandpa?
probably the war or the civil outbreak that was earlier. My grandma was then married to the hainanese clan of "Loy" probably in association with the many surnamed "Loy" in Singapore. It was a fall from riches, my granny really had to eat the humblest pie offered by the circumstances that was inevitable. But my late grandpa was the finest chef then in Singapore! Made a name for himself on ships that sailed throughout the pacific and finally settle in Singapore with my granny and started doing business in hotels. Boy, he can cook up a storm that will wet any appetite. My granny now is 85+ years old, a tad like a faded jade, however could still see the former glory of her youthful past brought forward by the enthusiaism of her telling her stories to me. Like for example how during the jap occupation, she was a servant to a japanese couple or something like that and how she was also a servant to a british couple after the surrender of the jappos.
now there is a ticking time stopper in her brain. a blood clot within her head that just might forbid her to see her grand children getting married and be happy altogether. Can tell she wants to see that...keep telling me which girl was good and which girl is not for me...i didn't heed it hence i did suffer big time, but she tell me this once again that i cannot ever procrastinate on the one that that she held her hands for long time and smiled the brightest at. I know what she meant and I agree with her because I really do love that girl as well. That lovely blessing of a girl is willing to be with me and that was it, though the trials has just started. I know granny...and I thank you for being there for me always. Love you Ma, *nong dai lu ai nong, nong bang lu tim ha lai gai ye du nong gai tim ah lai*
Sunday, February 12
i have a hainanese grandma and a teochew one who just celebrated her birthday just today and i can't even remember how old she is. Let's just say she is relatively "ancient" but she still as the age old kinda concern she still showers upon me when i was still in my huggies. I love my grannies a lot, hence i decided to dedicate part of my blog entry to just talk and converse about them.
[even as I am writing this I am pondering about her ; roxanne is aussie bound] :'(
my teochew granny came into my life when i was of a very young age. I came into first contact with her [when i actually had memories] way back when i was 3-4yrs old, where my mum will let me have occasional stayovers at teochew granny's house. My teochew granny's occupation was a fruit seller at the old owen rd food market and the business was bustling. All her children was helping out including myself...eating all the leftovers muahahaha! I always see her eating papaya hence the nickname that i have tagged her till today "Papaya Ah Ma" The variety of fruits that was exposed to me was overwhelming because i never see so many colorful edibles in my life as 4yr old. My Papaya Ah Ma's house is also known to me as a place of refuge cause you know...sometimes mom and dad have silly disagreements and harsh conversations which results my mum in tears. So we then will scoot down to my teochew granny place and take cover for a few days. Still can remember the nights of stayovers where the rattling celing fan hovers above me as i lay on a soft cushion foam mattress while i get to La La Land. Those are good memories and new ones begin to create itself as years passes by. Wrinkles began collection on her face, body starts to deplete in its health, walking seem to be a torture for her and everything else that spells aged is dawning upon her. But whatever she become, she is still my "Papaya Ah Ma" today at her birthday bash, I was super duper late. However I think i did rescue the situation by going straight to her and gave her a super BIG PECK on her cheek and everyone WOWED. Good one ian...I am sure she knows that you love her ya.
Stay tuned to my hainanese granny who is my late father's mum! She sits on a sedan chair when she was ten yrs old whenever she needs to go anywhere on hainan island...to be continued
Monday, February 6
today's turn out was "pathetic" probably lesser than the past two weeks of attendance. I can't put a finger to the exact problem but all I am getting now is still the same rantings of bringing friends and bringing friends. If now is the gauge of what our youth ministry will be known for...I guess it will be just "Cool" worship and the rest are bonuses, though the preaching of our Senior Pastor is indeed a "WOW" factor, however have the people cultivated a taste or an appetite for the Word that is tailored by the preaching to be spoken into their lives? It is a deadly poison waiting to strike our youth ministry hah...causing our youths to lose the appetite of the Word. What are we doing then? Well at least now we have the materials to teach the "Parables of Jesus" *Jesus to the rescue*
My fear is that we have not shaped or cultivated a generation of youths that hungers for the word. Evangelism is important...YES! Making disciples out of the nation...possible of course but what disciples are we making with the little values and morals that young people get with just a "cool" worship and "good" sermon. Discipleship has to happen within the cell and the platform is not set up efficiently yet. I suspect that we need to move into discipleship that anchors the spiritual man within our members soon with what is coming up. Come to think of it...we have actually gave spiritual sweets to our youths the past one month, it is just not enough. People are attracted to sincerity and the reality. And if our reality is to have the ordinary into an extraordinary, we should be doing well what? But why? Why is our youth group gradually shrinking since two weeks ago? From our history of conquest in Brighton all the way from the year of Reckless Faith to Year of Unprecedented Growth, it should be that we could only be better. Our confidence and barns should be overflowing [Proverbs 3:9-10] but it isn't working. "Oh we have to wait upon the Lord, it'll happen in His timing" but are we doing anything within our faith to support that? Are building altars for Him within our lives and others allowing Him to have the platform to do that? Are we the leaders creating spiritual opportunites for our youths to flex their spiritual muscles? Or the only spiritual muscles they flexing is the mouth as they speak in Godly conversations in tongues?
I want their most important muscle to be flexed. "Heart" the main cultivation area. That will be the sowing field. God likens us to "fallow ground" [uncultivated ground] so if the ground is uncultivated, how on earth are we to bear fruits, even if the fruits are presented, it'll be weak and sickly, and there we depend on the miracles of God to have them be discipled? Have them be strengthen on the spot? And then scold them as they do wrong when fault is on us not having the word put across properly to them through the word? Key thing is "Education of His Word" What are our platforms? What will people think when Brighton is thought about? What will we be known for?
...shrinking spiritual man?
...shrinking youth culture in Brighton?
...shrinking view of Jesus's discipleship in the gospels?
...shrinking appetite for rheama?
...shrinking reality of Jesus that is put in our Generation?
...shrinking responsiblities of us the leadership?
if it is so then we need to do something. I will need to do something within the little platforms that are given to me in the ministry. I will not let my younglings die a spiritual death. I will pray and I will sought the Lord cause with every step I take He will lead me and with Him I will walk the raging seas within the mundane frame of this time. I will still urge evangelism but will lay the foundations of it before they understand the essence of why they got to do it. It all comes back to education of the Word into their "Uncultivated" hearts. Anyway this is just my opinions. In our flaws...God is made perfect, what opportunity to see Him in action within our clearing of spiritual mess (*____*)^ I am the Light of the world and the Salt of the earth! I am the head and not the tail...above and not beneath! I can succeed in His glory...Lord use me now, prepare my vessel.
Saturday, February 4
How about YOU YOU YOU???
Primates, gigantic dumbos, slithering snakeys, jumpin baboons,standing tall giraffes,smelly hippos and mostly all animals who smell each others butts as their tradition. Yup...we seen them all today. Me and Rox...boy did we explore!
I mean the whole thing today was really good. It wasn't about the places or the things that we needed to do nor the food that we were about to eat. It was all about the company I am in. Wah Ian so worldly...tsk tsk...christian ah? Oei pls lah...God gave me a reason to live and that changed the way I walk,talk and live. Now there is someone else and of course it'll be another chapter in my life which will cause me to walk,talk and live differently because adam & eve kinda encounter is given. It is called love. Relationships are platforms to a long haul of commitment if it doesn't drive you to be excited and passionate about it...then forget about commitment or anything else from there.
Worldly love? Nooooo...worldly love derives something of the flesh and immediate demand or wanting of a certain something from one another. Here there is only enjoying one another's company and even in silence between us, we still can smile about it and be comfortable altogether. She makes me wanna love God more and thank Him even further.
Suddenly the thought of her leaving for Melbourne in 1 weeks time hits me...oh well...It'll be a testing of how much we want to make this work and be together for the end picture,right? Though the ends aren't really tied yet...I can only pray.
She told me "better keep my hands to myself!" jokingly as I mentioned to her about the abundance of young ppl in the MRT. And I told her that no worries for my hands are used for?...ummm... I didn't continue the conversational topic as I giggled it off. But I'll say it now:
for I know hardships and unforseen situtions aren't few,
My hands will be the devoted promise I give to you
as sure as a morning dew,
My hands will be the God given comfort and embracing joy
whenever your life falls burden to the devil's evil ploy,
My hands will be an essence of a forlorn lover thinking about his half
as he types emails that all will know we aren't on an ordinary relational path,
My hands will be used to be the counting factor
whenever I count the number of days left till I see you in our next chapter,
My hands will be the rest that I place underneath my chin
when I want to steal a moment of time to cherish our little funny stints,
My hands I would place on my heart
to tell the rest..pls don't compromise my "rox" drawn art
My hands I will place in yours in the end
as we are both *dashingly* dressed up in God's beautiful plan.
Now the array of photos from the Zoological...enjoy :) and I will promise to talk about something else next time kekeke...