Saturday, May 28

a pictorial that intrigues me...reminded me of what God have told me and I will respond in "RADICAL OBEDIENCE" Jesus guard my frail heart... Posted by Hello
there it began...thank Lord Jesus...continue to make me nothing but of something to you! I love you Lord (*__________*) ^ starry starry eyed :) Posted by Hello
worship before the word of God being spoken, like Senior Ps Wang says, a softening of soil before the seed is to be go Winston!!! Jesus anoint "tootsie bear local" (Winston's nic) ten fold so that God is more real than the air that we breathe... Posted by Hello
Everyday Christianity Part I

this is my first ever msg that was preached home ground at Brighton Youth Conference on 21 May 2005 I was so scared. It was even worst than when I got the opportunity to share God's words to the GMSS students. But slowly like always, blank head I go to the pulpit, full of the spirit I became. I don't know...whenever I preach, there is this anger in me to ensure that it gets to the people and the scene where Jesus chases the people out of the temple because of the low regard of it's holiness always captured my being and my thoughts during preaching. Ps Danny always encourage me to cool down and speak softer, really a tall order for me, tried and tested. After the sermon, some said that they were really ministered by it, another thinks it is shallow. But i believe that God's word is spoken for it's time and place no matter what crowd and regardless of what people think as long as it is from the unchanging word. Jesus is the way, the only way, the counselor of truth. The sermon will be placed as a three part series in my blog. I pray that you be ministered by it. I was in my room praying and asking God what He would want to speak to the young of today and He impressed that our faith has been watered down much in the rigidities of weekdays, compromising our faith much, hence EVERYDAY CHRISTIANITY, may the HS be with you :)

A question has to be asked, “How do we serve God in everyday?”

Everyday life is not camp, though Brightonyouth camp is really awesome
Everyday life is not conference where you have Andrew Yeo ushering the presence of God or LJ our drummer kicking the beat brother! Everyone is jumping, shouting it is AWESOME!
Everyday life is not James Singh coming to you and FIRE

Everyday life is learning not to get upset with your mom, because it is like the umpteen times she has been asking you how are your studies doing son and you tell her, “I don’t know mom, it is only the first day in school”
Everyday life is making sure today you actually don’t hit your brother
Everyday life is waking up not complaining to your mom who made you a sumptuous breakfast meal and all you have to say to her is “don’t you know I am on a diet?”

This is everyday life, how do I serve God in an everyday life? I am talking about Everyday Christianity. When I am in my National service, I realize that life is not a euphoric mountain top experience. Usually life most often is a progression of a daily routine exercises. And the man and woman who succeeds in life, sucks the most out of these routine exercises and truly fulfils their destiny is the young men and woman who finds great meaning in the routine exercise of Everyday Christianity. You need to understand that. Particularly after June or December camp, people have Camp Christianity, when time allows them for prayer they pray or to be spiritual for that matter a fact they are into it, it is good, it is cool. But when school time comes back to them, the rigidity and school schedule, and the demands on your time and your attention begins to suffocate your spirituality.

You know mother’s day was just over and on that I was with Reynard and Winston. They can be witnesses to this testimony. We were fiddling thru the DVD shop looking for love stories and stuff and we made our way to my place and I remember that I always buy a cake for my mom on mother’s day. SO with the last 20 dollars I have, I bought a juicy black forest cake. I was jubilant, the guys were excited about this outing and I can’t wait to see my mom’s face. I got back, showed her the cake, she was happy and I kissed her on her cheek, the guys were fiddling with their food and suddenly there was silence when my mom told me to give the cake to my grandmother! I remembered that it is mother’s day, not grandma’s day. I bought the cake for her! SO I ask her what is this? And she says just do it. I said no…I got the cake for you, why are you asking me to bring the cake to someone else? Why can’t you just receive it!!!

*I am talking about everyday Christianity, not sitting on soft red chairs, nice auditorium, listening to ian preaching. I am talking about everyday Christianity.
Mom, I got the cake for you why can’t you just take.
COs I want grandma to have it…I was like AHHHHHHHHHH. N the faces on Reynard they know that what I said wasn’t very nice. And I know it! And I went to my room huffing and puffing…everyday Christianity

This is where it really happens; this is where it takes place,
Am I a Christian or am I not?
Do I have a relationship with Him or not?
Do I really talk to Him?
When I have a bad day, do I really talk to Him, interact with Him?
Or I only have communion or communication with Him when candles are burning and One Way is playing on the cd or my life is full of nice flowery experience with no grey clouds to BUG me. Are those the only times I engage with God?

At that time, I wasn’t very spiritual but I was anointed. I was Argh…all sorts of noise came out from my mouth…and then I prayed, no one was around me cos I am in my room. If my mom heard me, she would say, “uh huh, you better call on Buddha too hmph!” I started praying and I asked, “Jesus right now I need grace, I need grace, GRACE right now because I am ticked off!” I was fired up but I said it again, Jesus I need grace! It wasn’t like in a spiritual voice, Father in heaven, would you pour down your glorious grace from your throne, your great white throne that is. It more like, Jesus I need grace before I break something!

Then something happened. A peace got into me as I think about Him. And I realize there is no need for all this senseless anger, after all it is mother’s day and I am enjoying a dvd romantic movie with my guy friends and furthermore I get to see my grandma whom I have not visited in ages. There was a perspective change and I am back to my usual heavenly self. You can ask Reynard and Winston to be judge of that…Amen?

I am talking about Everyday Christianity. What does Jesus have to say about Everyday Christianity? Two things He said:

to be continued...
find out what Jesus have to say bout Everyday Christian Life...(^__________^) _

ian is getting the jitters before he goes up the pulpit to relate God's msg to the people!!! Is Everyday Christianity Possible??? ian says,"Yes!" this is ian first ever time doing something like this...thank you God for sending lovely people who supported me in prayer and love. Posted by Hello
at last there is something that overshadows Angela!!! LOL (*______*) _ Posted by Hello
stephanie's flower upclosed...thought I tried to be like my friend "Ying" who is super cool with photos...yikes Posted by Hello
Happy Birthday to you, you born in the Zoo, with God's little creatures beside are LOVED TOO!!! (^______^) ^ Posted by Hello
this is the coolest bunch celebrating Stephanie's birthday altogether...where am I? *carrying the camera of course* never had this much fun on birthdays especially on mine :( Posted by Hello
James 1:17 says Jesus is the light...then I would want to be the sea that reflects it! A breathtaking sight that was caught while basking under the oven of a sun. Posted by Hello
was at sentosa again today to run away from the harshness of this world and into the serenity of God's creation and there I found Proverbs 29:18 again :) Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 25

A familiar nostalgia (T__________T) _

thought I should put this in entry in my blog as honesty should be of priority. Cecilia and I never did have a proper closure. Not sure how it ended also, it is just like that, "a very silent departing" as if we know why we are leaving each other for. Many of times when I am sitted alone in my room or seeking solitude in any place thinking bout God and stuff, I must admit that a certain share of my thoughts still belong to her. She is very caring and loving, at times selfless towards me. Her white musk fragrance still lingers after so long.

it was time to let go, no more pondering on thoughts that bring about tears and questions that was left unanswered.

thing is that I can't believe I saw her with someone else in such short time. three years of built relationship can shatter and be mended in just a month with someone else? irony of love...mundane love. that is it, it just stunned me. I am sorry to cecilia, perhaps the main protagonist in our life is the person we believe we love very much, but the fact is we struggled to love Him being together. i just turned away in shock when i saw them at HMV like two weeks ago, i was like, wow! a tad happy for her also. whatever!

The feelings and frustrations is of emptiness now, a void that yearns to be filled. Void that is made of flesh. But God made known that void is a shape of Him. I need to fill it now! Enlarge my capacity of you oh Lord.

"One Last Cry" My shattered dreams and broken heart Are mending on the shelf I saw you holding hands Standing close to someone else Now I sit all alone Wishing all my feelings was gone I gave my best to you Nothing for me to do But have one last cry

[Chorus:]One last cry Before I leave it all behind I gotta put you out of my mind this time Stop living a lie I guess I'm down to my last cryCry.....I was here You were there Guess we never could agree While the sun shines on you I need some love to rain on me Still I sit all alone Wishing all my feelings was gone Gotta get over you Nothing for me to do But have one last cry

[Chorus:]One last cry Before I leave it all behind I goota put you out of my mind For the very last time Been living a lie I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down I guess I'm down...I guess I'm down...To my last cry...

new chapter in life...God writtened

Wednesday, May 18

see you again Jakarta Indonesia...till then God's allowance of glory will change you :) love everything bout you (*_____*) "ian goes starry eyed" Posted by Hello
flying off from the Jakarta airport to Home sweet Home, Singapore *weeps* Posted by Hello
my best friend in the act as well, see a reminisence of isaac when he was 13 years of age??? heh...little children come to Him amen! Posted by Hello
the trying to look cool pose before making way to the airport. Grace, Ps Ginting's daughter (extreme left) Joshua, Ps Ginting's son (extreme right) Girl in dirty yellow is Firrol...a funny girl she is...see you ppl in two weeks...praise God :) Posted by Hello
passionate jakarta bekasi...God's love is definitely present (^____^) part IIII (Final)

final entry of my personal thoughts about Jakarta Indonesia. The last days there made my feet reluctant to go home but my heart wishes to as there are much to do back in Singapore for my area. I missed my area really much. I eat, I think of them, I shop, I think of them, I pray, I think of them, I go to God, I lift their names to Him. Compassion drives you as you have a vision for these people. No vision, no hope. Proverbs 29:18 says that without revelation, man live life wildly and carelessly...cast off restraint. God, help me walk in the paths of righteousness for your Name sake.

I am not sure about all this missionery work thing and stuff. I really have a feel for it but God purposefully show this side of His ministry for me. Allowed me to understand His desire for the whole world to know of His love and Good news. For me, this trip isn't just a recce trip. It is a window for me to look through God's eyes of where He wants His love to be and thru this window, life preview changes from proverty to riches, from anger to peace, from hurt to heal. This is the story of how Indonesian revival is beginning. They take God's love and glory with two hands, whereas here we take it when we feel like it. *ian slams table with both hands and stands* we need to bring honour to God's name...I am not being drama mama here but He is of eternal, He stands forever, not relationships, not friendships, not jobs, not our pleasures that is like ice cream which is momentary sweetness and joy. Jesus is a life pillar always there for us to lean on...the rest our flesh that reluctant to admit. Jakarta caught my heart by the horns man and subdued me, God allowed me to go into another level of intimacy under His conditions, of what He wants me to be. Forget what other people wants me to be or what I want to be. I'll just wait upon Him...Esther waited in the House of Woman, preparing herself in harsh conditions to be the best for the King. There were so many girlfriends together with her preparing for "THE ONE" beauty pagaent. Esther waited and prepared, immersed herself in harsh beauty treatments to be beautiful. Preparations are always the bitter towards a sweet ending, it is getting thru the bitter part where most gave up. I want to to be more beautiful but must go to harsh treatment...aiyo...beautiful ian here I come! now where is my nail polish? hehehe

I learn loads from Jakarta, from not drinking too much water in cars otherwise I'll go into a pissing frenzy of where is the TOILET??? to passionate worship with jubilant worshippers of GKII church cherishing the love of God every moment of the week. I would like to thank God first for showing me beautiful people there and the work there that is of becoming in praise for HIM. I have learnt much humility and gotten taste of God's ministry of missions though missions is a lifestyle evangelism thing, it is this area that God want me to know. He really wants me to know that there is a bigger world out there for me to impact the world. My youth pastor told us that what we do at times will find it hard to impact the world or shake a nation. I choose to think differently, I can impact the world for Jesus by impacting my world first then my friends, there are different worlds in our current states and God will understand, if He doesn't? Not sure of anything anymore then...then can be moved by prayer since prayer is the primary tool of Ministry to Him. Dear God, the world will fall unto their knees in awe of you. All seem important to them will burn and perish and there in the empty fields of their hearts emerge a burning bush that will consume their thoughts and heart. You are the only one Jesus. The way, the truth and light. Thank you Bekasi Jakarta. See you in two weeks time!
outside of tangerang church. don't look really pleasant but within the slum, there this certain peace... Posted by Hello
this will be the church I will be returning to in two weeks time. Tangerang Church (Branch of GKII) Grown fondly attached to that place. Wonder if I can get my bible education there, but bahasa indo *ian scratch head* Posted by Hello
we ate this in Indonesia...the hospitality is unimaginable. Pak Yacob, we need to buy you dinner back in Singapore man! Posted by Hello
ian and isaac (right) indulging themselves in indonesian culture by eating with hands! Food tasted really good especially "FRIED FISH" yummy yummy. Thank you Lord for the nourishment. Posted by Hello
ah Benny Ho junior is giving his share of praise to the Lord that changed his life forever, though no rainbow after receiving Jesus, but Jesus proved his presence as time passes in small pockets of blessings (^_____^) Posted by Hello
the jubilant tambourine dancers of Limus Church (Branch Church of GKII) on the right can see Abang Daniel worshipping with heart...God's name is to be known! Posted by Hello

Thursday, May 12

Visions on the 7th of May (Saturday)...Youth Conference

a figure filled with light came upon me and there I knelt in fear. The figure lifted my face and I was embraced by this warmth which chased the fear away. The figure turned behind and took with Him a piece of gold which He hands it to me in suggestion for me to receive it. I looked at that piece of gold and I received it in awe. I placed that gold upon my chest and there it opened up painfully to take that gold into my inner being. There I know ... I was never the same ... the pureness within my filth of such flesh is too much of a contrast. God made me know and now I will continue to withdraw more of myself to Him until I'm undone (T________T) _ *ian cries in the corner of his room, in His courts he enters*
passionate jakarta bekasi...God's love is definitely present (^____^) part III

in our six days stay in Bekasi Jakarta, Isaac and me stayed with Ps Ken @ Senior Ps Ginting's house. The amount of hospitality extended to us was unbelievable.I think if ever Singaporeans need etiquette class of hospitality, they can definitely learn it here in this senior pastor's place. The long journey from the airport to the house in the beginning allowed my butt to be paralysed for awhile but what was revealed at the pit stop was a bungalow with lots of friendly people inside. Senior Ps is away for a major summit hence I supposed he told his members or helpers to treat us with upmost care and care is certainly what we gotten. They opened up the rooms that belong to his son and daughter. And where about they going sleep? GUEST ROOM...I can't believe it...we are supposed to be suffering in indonesia, not be treated that well! But I guess it is only polite. In Jewish customs I hear, when a friend travels far to meet you, and you don't have food or any preparation for him to be welcomed, it'll be seen as an act of "you deserve a slap in the face" kinda thing. Well I can see it in practice here in this Bekasi household. I feel super welcomed.

The house gives a peaceful feel in the exterior but when I entered the opens to a place of serenity. Plaques and banners praising our Father in heaven, this house is rockin with praise man. then when we entered the rooms, we were greeted with air cons? I was like wow!!! because indonesian weather was like an oven being fitted in the sky, grilling us every moment, it is that bad. Sweat is like our best friend, it follows us wherever we go but the HS is with us to, to help us focus not on the heat but to make His name famous.

The household of Senior Ps Ginting wakes every morning at 4am, praying to the Almighty. But guess what...the muslims too wake early to pray to God as it is like a battle of two prayers and where is Isaac and me? In the depths of our slumber, oblivious to the prayers of the two going on stimultaneously.

At the first night, I had a nightmare and I dreamt that someone is taking my heart away, I ran and ran but he is still on my back, beating the hands of mine protecting the area where my heart is...I SCREAMED...woke Mr Isaac up! Told him what happened but he wasn't really interested so he went back to maths conference with his sheeps at Slumber St. Me...shakened...took my bible and notebook down to spend time with HS. It was fruitful...very the silence, God's words crept to me in one word..."withdraw to me"....and I did. Gave me courage and strength to carry on whatever I have to do and it is a gift that has been bestowed to me...I still have it now. I'll practice it often for sure.

Been trapped six days with Mr Isaac is a whole new experience for me. Never did I shared room with him nor in my youth where we were in camps. This was the first time i am staying in the same space with him that long. I will say it is an experience and I know God put me there for me to acquire something not very popular to the flesh and human heart which is "inadequacy" I'll shall stop here because if I carry on about this topic, it'll just sound like I am gossiping...Isaac is my best friend and it is someone I can entrust my life with. There are things I disagree and vex about when we go head on collision for certain situations or decisions, but I have to thank him cos without him, i didn't know there is an amount of vast knowledge which I didn't acquire. Perhaps I am just a simpleton for now...God, what have you prepared for me in the next lap? I'll soon find out as I withdraw to Him, perhaps in this solitude I can hear Him whisper to me secrets of His heart...

there is still a part IIII to this and it'll be the be continued

Wednesday, May 4

this is the younger son (right) and older daughter (centre) of senior pastor at Bekasi Church. Will share about them in the next blog entry...stay tuned :) Posted by Hello
they are joyful in the Lord, you should just catch them at worshipping! In full expression man. Posted by Hello
youths of pulua gembang church...similar to ours but they have own transportation (*_____*) yikes! Funky ah they? Posted by Hello
this is "the" strawberry milkshake...wished everyone could have a taste of it...a miracle at the feeding of 10000 perhaps...God, you do milkshakes too? Posted by Hello
the infamous fly that gotten caught in the torturous hands of ian loy...who ask it to disturb my peace with "the" strawberry milkshake. Posted by Hello