Tuesday, July 26
It has always been my joy to praise God while I lead worship. It is like God is the only audience in front of me and I am doing a performance of praise for his delight and pleasure. However I haven't had any of that chance for a long time. I been praying and fasting, then it comes down to the crunch of my knowledge that it isn't time yet. I am not yet the person to lead congregations into worship of adoration and singing of psalms. The devil schemes to make me think that Danny is the real cause of stopping my growth as a worship leader and advancement in another ministry. However the truth of the matter is that the HS reminds me that "He saw Satan fall down like lightning..." And Satan aka was a worship leader of the most glorious worship team but kicked out because of His hidden ambitions that were overshadowing the praises for God.
There are two things I must get right and nurture myself before I can be what God wants me to be! And I reckon it'll be lot of things...I see myself in a vision of a multi tasker...carrying lots of different tools of different jobs. Praise God, may your will be done but for now?
My focus...HS please help me!
2) Ministry Management
I still have problems relating and helping my cell leaders to understand that it is the vision of the young ones worshipping God whole heartedly that is the propelling factor that drives us to do more and beyond our frustrations,confusions,dryouts,sadness...and so forth. I understand that we all have work in our mundane life.Right now it seems I have no say to tell them that they can do more with their sheep because I am so free and my leaders are schooling still. Yes, I admit...I am not empathizing enough in this area. I need to learn. Recently I wanted to just breakdown. Everyday I think about my youths in my area. How am I to motivate them to do things beyond themselves so that my leaders will not feel the crunch. Oh restless generation! Lord soften the spiritual ground of the hearts in young people, so that as we, your commissioned disciples will go sow the seeds of revival. I can see it... it is just a prayer a way!
I had a cell once that operates with me and three other folks, young folks that is. At that time I was chosen to be a cell leader just 5 months into my time in Brighton as a believer. I was loud, obnoxious and bewildered, very attention seeking. No substance to back up whatever I say out. The size of my cell really makes me *puke* and the sharing is really like seeing a camel dying of thirst in the heat of the desert.I was demoralised...my mentor refused to help me as he helped me enough, everytime I turned to him, he looks away as he believes he gave me tools to use them, not to rely on his tools.[Just like the authority of Jesus, given to us] But i was frustrated,human tiredness and frustrations got to me! I just want to melt! WHY??? NO RESULTS NO PAYBACK NOTHING...so why am I doing this for? I am tired...so just go away!
James grab me and brought me to the side and ministered to me. He read Habakkuk 3:17-19 to me:
17 Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
19 The LORD God [c] is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.
How timely is God's words for my season of dryness. I forgotton the whole fact that He is the cause of my salvation which there should be the initial joy that drives me to tell others about this joy. It is a promise already and a vision that He would make my journey light if I rely on Him more then my accomplishments or my efforts...I need to go back to the Source...then I can conquer high hills of people who refuses to move together in the name of the Lord.
I must know
1) That failures and calamities will come...famine of spiritual growth will come
2) That He is the Source of everything that I still lack
3) That once I have established (2) my task ahead will be a God given breeze :)
My area will grow! In Jesus name...STEPH AND JIEYI will be pillars of young lives, giving them hope and strength relising that Jesus reigns and is real within the lives that the leaders live. HS bless them and bless them good. These are the brightest and promising youths that I would only know it is of Your ingeniunity. Bring forth Your Presence as we consecrate.
Thursday, July 21
Tuesday, July 19
It was pouring madly on the expressway of East Coast. Then there was this pastel coloured van that swerve in from no where from the left into our lane. Our driver Cho reacted fast enough to aviod collision with that reckless van driver, however bliss was short live as Cho's truck swerved, it spinned one round and it was most impossible to avoid another collision when this taxi couldn't turn in time to swerve away from us. *BANG* front of the truck was smashed, everything was in a dazed. I remember seeing my stage manger flew in front of me but I grabbed her and hold her close to me because I reckon it might just overturn. But it didn't. The scariest moment is when every came to a stop or rather a pause, the view from behind the truck was in right to left motion. It was all quiet and then crash.
After the collision, I lift my stage manager's face to check if she was alright, she had a bruise on her right cheekbone, which looked minor, for me I sprained my right wrist and bruised my leg a tad bit. Then we were dazed and stunned for a moment when Cho came out of the truck frantically to see if we were alright. I saw blood, bad time to see it, we check ourselves and realised my Stage manager had a cut on her toe! What a scare! Thank God it isn't to a head injury. Next thing we knew, we are out of the truck and standing in the midst of heavy rain on ECP, recovering from shock.
Amazing thing was not that I came out of the truck with minor injuries where others had it worst than me. Before this when we were travelling on streets of HDB estates, the chair that I was sitting on broke with no rhyme or reason. I was dozing off and the leg of the chair came off. With no choice I had to sit on the floor. My stage manager was laughing her head off as well. If I was on a chair, I would be thrown out of the truck no question asked but i was on the floor to grab her down otherwise she would be heading out of the truck. Hence my friends on the truck told me that God must have love you much and blessed you. It was so uncanny and this grace is so subtle and yet when it was revealed, it was...a WOW factor! Took sometime to sink in cos of shock. I live today because of grace...thank you Jesus, what plans you have for me to keep me from death? Speak, for your servant listens...
Tuesday, July 12
Monday, July 11
[Sermon preached on 09/07/05 @ Brighton Youth Praise]
Feeding the Five Thousand (D) 30Then the apostles gathered to Jesus and told Him all things, both what they had done and what they had taught. 31And He said to them, "Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while." For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. 32So they departed to a deserted place in the boat by themselves.
33But the multitudes[d] saw them departing, and many knew Him and ran there on foot from all the cities. They arrived before them and came together to Him. 34And Jesus, when He came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them, because they were like sheep not having a shepherd. So He began to teach them many things. 35When the day was now far spent, His disciples came to Him and said, "This is a deserted place, and already the hour is late. 36Send them away, that they may go into the surrounding country and villages and buy themselves bread;[e] for they have nothing to eat."
37But He answered and said to them, "You give them something to eat."
And they said to Him, "Shall we go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread and give them something to eat?"
38But He said to them, "How many loaves do you have? Go and see."
And when they found out they said, "Five, and two fish."
39Then He commanded them to make them all sit down in groups on the green grass. 40So they sat down in ranks, in hundreds and in fifties. 41And when He had taken the five loaves and the two fish, He looked up to heaven, blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to His disciples to set before them; and the two fish He divided among them all. 42So they all ate and were filled. 43And they took up twelve baskets full of fragments and of the fish. 44Now those who had eaten the loaves were about[f] five thousand men.
[WHAT DO YOU SEE?] Youth’s response
The Futility of Idols and the Trustworthiness of God
1 Not unto us, O LORD, not unto us,
But to Your name give glory,
Because of Your mercy,
Because of Your truth.
2Why should the Gentiles say,
"So where is their God?"
3But our God is in heaven;
He does whatever He pleases. *God is in control*
4Their idols are silver and gold, *speaking of men who don’t know Jesus*
The work of men's hands.
5They have mouths, but they do not speak;
Eyes they have, but they do not see; *key phrase*
6They have ears, but they do not hear;
Noses they have, but they do not smell;
7They have hands, but they do not handle;
Feet they have, but they do not walk;
Nor do they mutter through their throat.
8Those who make them are like them;
So is everyone who trusts in them.
[Or those who don’t really know God are just like the idols. The bible indicates that those don’t know God will have eyes but cannot really see, being one of the key symptoms here from this list we are going to talk about]Perception is a very POWERFUL thing
Perception is the way you see what you see
Basically in life what we see or what we observe is the same, BUT it is the way we see or observe that makes the difference! Everyday we are face with perceptions, what the world perceives of us on how we should live and perspectives of other people that we need to fall prey to, however Romans 12:2 says:
2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
How do we know what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God?
The Bible is important. The Bible is God's perception of you, this world, the life to come and God himself. This is a book about God's perception, hence we need to go to it and shape ourselves into what is good, acceptable and the will of God, we need to go to it.
First few important words when Jesus started His ministry, "REPENT" Now let's break that word up. What does "RE" means? "Back" or to "Return. "Pent" Where does the "Pent" derive from? Penthouse, do you know that a penthouse is not cheap? A penthouse is located at the highest floor of a building. And guess who has the highest of dwelling place?
"REPENT" means "To return to God's perspective, we need to return to God's perception" The word repent in greek means "to change one's mind" but when Jesus use it, He wants us to return to the perspective of God. We all have sinned, sin means "missing the mark" in greek. We need to return to God's perspective, if we have missed the mark. Only through God's perspective, we can hit the mark. The bible is God's unchanging word.
There is this one time I was watching a Channel U trailer and they are going to air a program titled "DARE TO TALK" and their topic was "TEEN SUICIDE" there was this girl who made a comment like this "Suicide is an option for us youths" I was thinking, praying then muffled into cries of help to Jesus. If this is the perception of this generation of youths, there is definitely something wrong. We need to change that!
Before we can reach our friends or ask ourselves the Question "Can we feed 10000 people pr rather youths?" We need to change our perceptions first. How?
Three “See” or perceptions that we got to get it right:
34And Jesus, when He came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them, because they were like sheep not having a shepherd...
1) We got to see people like sheep without a shepherd
[1 Peter 2] Talks about this.
[1 Tim 2:3-4] The passage talks about God desiring all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
[Shoe Salesman Story]
Shoe Salesman was sent to
Company brought him home, sent another shoe salesman to the
What’s the difference here? Perceptions
How do you view the people in your life?
How do you view your classmates, your cca mates, your colleagues, your friends, neighbors?
Are people just annoying?
Are they people or enemies that just keeping you from getting where you need to be?
Is your friends annoying because they do not acknowledge you to be the coolest or the hippest person to be around because they most probably think you are like “toot”
Or is she annoying because she is from another religion and she seems flourishing and a all rounder girl that’s gets all the attention, hence you perceive that she does not need Jesus in her life?
Or annoying because (this is my favorite) square and uncool, always sucking up to people
Some of you need to see people like “sheep without a shepherd”
Some of view your friends as they are too cool they don’t need Jesus
Some you view or brand your friends are like untouchable because they got it all:
- He or she is the class president
- Leader of cheer leading team
- She is captain of the netball team
- They are grass or flower of the school
- Star of this star of that
- His father is multi-millionaire
Hence they DON”T NEED GOD?
And that is your perception!
Some of you, God has intended for you to talk to your friend about Jesus, but it is your perception that is keeping you back. Because your perception that tells you that your friends are so cool that they won’t give you the time of the day. But the truth is that it is the most popular people that are most hurting!
KW, arguably the most infamous and notorious young person in my school and in my class, he is famous because of the rumors saying he has been to boys home when he was young and now he is currently in the hottest gang possible that KILLS people. At that time I was just a new Christian going about my day, being a sucker to the hot jocks and do my mediocre evangelism with friends who are really close to me. I was the kind of guy that carries bag for my friends, all my friends actually whenever we go for some fun at the basketball court.
As I was sharing the 4SL one day with one of my classmates, and he came along behind, I tell you at that time fear brush across my shoulders. He JUMPED on me and my friend and shouted “Wah HOLY HOLY ah, so pastor Ian, tell me leh, tell me more about Jesus” (All this in a joking mode and jeering kinda atmosphere.) My perception got to me “This guy is going to kill you” so I giggled my way out of my classroom and left my friend for dead with him. Anyway subsequently, every time I tried to share 4SL or some biblical truths to my classmates, he will be there and the same scenario repeats it self. It happens quite a lot time throughout our education time.
This year perhaps the earlier half, after a night session of teaching at Ps Tiak’s house, our cell went for supper at the nearby market. Behold! I see this guy in long sleeves rather smart, and really familiar, it is the Killer of my class…funny how perception can last…wrong perception. I went up to him and do the long time no see kinda thing. Next thing I know, this guy says, “Maybe you won’t believe it but I am attending church now.” Then suddenly he said, “Do you still share Christ like you do in class? Hope you are? I apologize for the way I’ve jeered and treated you. Sincerely, I wanted to know about what you were talking about always when you talk about God” Most infamous and notorious person in my secondary school. At times I struggled with the perception that he is popular and that he has it all and stuff, he wouldn’t want…… No he would and he wanted and he needed, but my perception was “Oh that’s KW, I better move aside”
No…that is a sheep without a shepherd!
Sheep are prone to wander with no shepherd
Sheep will be prone to getting lost without a shepherd
Jesus likens people today to “sheep”. Not to offend you, but sheep is not one of the smartest animals. Sheep are some of the amazing animals that respond to quality time!
I was reading from a website, shared with Danny as well. This website was titled “Ten Commandments of Raising Sheep” They were saying that sheep are some of the most loving and rewarding farm animals when you give them quality time!
Jesus likens you to a sheep!
People need leaders. Do you know what a shepherd is? He or she is a herdsman, a gatherer. You know what we need today? Young people who has a God perception that their class mates, cca mates, school mates, neighbors, friends and people in the community are sheep who needs a leader and you who are willing to say “I will be the leader!”
I am looking for shepherds in this youth ministry, people who will gather people around them.
Jesus almost went on vacation or rest with the disciples on the boat to a deserted place, multitudes came. They arrive before them and Jesus gets off the boat and looks at the people and goes “Sheep……Sheep……Oh Sheep”
Sheep? They need shepherd. “SO” the bible said He taught them many things, spending quality time. How do you see people, how do you see people in your school? How do you see? 1st See that we need to change is to see people as like sheep without a shepherd. We are Christians folks, we are called to love people and to see what our God sees.
2) We got to see what we have
37But He answered and said to them, "You give them something to eat." And they said to Him, "Shall we go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread and give them something to eat?" 38But He said to them, "How many loaves do you have? Go and see.”
“Go and See” a 2nd perception we need to get right!
You must see that your gifts and talents are something that God desires to use.
The disciples came back, “well we found a kid with five loaves of flat bread and two guppies! That’s all!”
You know what happened? Jesus didn’t even say anything! He didn’t say that Oh that’s good, that’s alright, that’s cool, oh no or oh wow! All he said was “Tell the people to sit down!” “But God” “Tell them to sit down”
Now give me your five loaves and two fishes. He takes it!
Listen to what He says. Jesus says “go and see what you have!”
[JOHN F KENNEDY]
The late President of United States, Mr. John F. Kennedy said in one of his good speeches this, “It is not what the country can do for you, but what you can do for your country!”
If there is anything I can do in this youth ministry, it would be to teach each and every one of you that there is something you have, God wants to use! The worst thing a youth ministry could do is to believe that it is me or couple of people that is on stage, making all this happen.
Young people, it does not work like that. God did not set up His church for this to happen! My only job here or your leaders here is to encourage you and empower you and give you the tools to do it!
Please, if you are looking for a youth ministry where you can come be “Entertained” or you think I am your private entertainer for the evening, GO to Pasir Ris! Pastor Joyce of Riverlife church is there, she isn’t an entertainer too, so you have to make a left turn to downtown east, where some of the entertainers are.
My job is not an entertainer, so is with the leaders. My job here is to give you tools to go do, what God calls you to do!
You got something God wants, you know that?
Teen: Ian, what do you mean?
Ian: You got something God wants.
Teen: You don’t know me.
Ian: Maybe I don’t what you got?
Teen: Nothing, I don’t have a dad.
Ian: Well what happened?
Teen: I don’t know. I have never met my dad. My dad left my mom and I grew up living with my mom for my whole life…… What do you mean I have something that God wants?
Ian: You have something that God wants!
Teen: Wow…I mean I am shy and don’t even like to talk in front of people. Well so I don’t have anything there.
Ian: What else you got?
Teen: Mom don’t have enough money, she goes on two jobs just to struggle to pay for the bills.
Ian: Alright, I’ll pray for you on that one.
Teen: Thanks, we need it.
Ian: Cool, what else you’ve got?
Teen: I don’t know, not much. I don’t even get good grades.
Ian: Alright, you don’t have a brain. What else you’ve got? What you like to do?
Teen: I don’t know
Ian: I mean when you are chilling out or passing time, what do you do?
Teen: Well, I have a yellow pad and I like to draw and stuff.
Ian: What do you draw?
Teen: Characters and things in my head.
Ian: Are you good?
Teen: I don’t know. Some of my friends think I am.
Ian: Maybe God wants to use that.
YOU GOT SOMETHING GOD WANTS! If I could convince you, if Brighton Youth Ministry could convince you that you got something that God wants, we can change
You give God’s representatives what you got and guess who is God’s representatives in your life is?
ME and your leaders! Let us know what you got…and we will put it to use.
What can you offer?
What can you do?
What do you enjoy?
You don’t know what they are? Jesus says “Go and See” Go and discover what you are good at! And don’t ever say to me that you are good for nothing…SHUT UP…I mean be quiet! That is not true…You are good for something young people. You got talent or something and we will find that talent!
I am on a talent search here!
Forget American Idol, Singapore Idol or Superstar or whatever that is…Forget it
I am on a talent search,
I am not going to sell your body
I am not going to sell your voice
You are going to sell out for JESUS CHRIST and find true fulfillment
If you are willing to say “Okay God this is what I am good at.” God will use it. We can use it in this youth ministry. Go and See.
2nd perception we need to get right is that we need to realize that your giftings and talents are something God wants to use to work a miracle. What does Jesus say? Jesus says “You give them something” [Mk6:37] every body got something.
What does 2 Timothy says when Paul was writing to Timothy?
6Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. [NKJV]
6For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. [NIV]
So we got the gift now what is standing in our way? The spirit of fear and timidity that speaks like this:
“No lah, I can’t sing well”
“Cannot lah kay I’m lousy, cannot be leader”
“Sure or not, me good in coming up with games”
Or worst still “I don’t know leh I don’t know”
Wait a minute! Where is all this coming from? It is evident in this verse that we are to acknowledge our gifts from God, fanning it to flame, stirring it, developing it then having power, love and self discipline to fuel it, to propel your gift into full bloom, because now it is only a flame as the bible indicates.
So why Paul told little Tim that God did not give us a spirit of fear or timidity? I mean he could just encourage him by just saying God gave us a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline. Why? Because at that time, Timothy was suffering from what youths of this age suffer…LACK OF CONFIDENCE…lack of confidence was a serious problem for Timothy. Go read about it.
Young person, “Lack of Confidence” is one of the lies Satan has been using on us, ever since he took over Destroying Youths Ministry. He needs to kill off young budding giftings in you; otherwise it will endanger his evil plan to take your friends with him.
Who wants to stop that evil plan raise your hands? Then you need to go and see what you have then step out of the road block called “lack of confidence” and give to your ministry for God, for your friends out there! Be strong in your gift!
RECAP: Perceptions we need to get right
1) we got to see people as sheep without a shepherd
2) we got to see what we have
. 41And when He had taken the five loaves and the two fish, He looked up to heaven, blessed and broke the loaves
3) We got to see that He is the source
Perception that we need to change or get right, is to see that He is the source of anything that we still lack.
So Ian, do you think we have something that we still lack in this ministry to reach 10000 or just 120 by the end of this year? I will say “Ya”
Talk about other sources “then we need to bring in…”
2) Play station and X box, we need to get “Halo”
3) Bring in Sylvester and Taufik or Beckham if we have a budget
4) Play movies…Lord of the Rings and
5) Rock bands that says "God Bless" at the end of concert and we think they are Chirstians.
You see Ian, this is how they think, I mean we lack resources so we better go out there and get other resources so that we can reach young people today and young people, what they really need is this relevant scene, so that we can relate to them by
1) wear Britney spears tee shirts
2) play the apprentice, or the OC, Your mama C
3) play American idol songs
4) Hang up cool posters of current bands, cool girls, J Lo so Low
And we will look totally HIP!!!
No! That is not my source. My source is God and God only. Those are not my source! I am alright with some video games; I am alright with some Godly pure entertainment which perhaps some short programs. But that that is not my source. My source is God. He is the ultimate source for creativity and reaching young people with His gospel and His word.
God is our Source, can we feed 10000? Of course we can and we will, but our perception has to change.
Ian, how do I change my perception?
Every time Jesus broke bread in the New Testament, every time He broke bread, He was not just dealing with food; He is dealing with “perception change.” TAKE, EAT, THIS IS MY BODY BROKEN FOR YOU! He broke the bread in front of 10000 people then later He taught about “I am the bread of Life” With brokenness, comes revelation and understanding. [Altar call/Music team]
Young people, if you would learn to humble yourself before God, God will show you things you got to see and see it right! We need to “REPENT” Go back to God’s perspective and God’s perception.
Can we feed 10000? Oh yes because now we can see people like sheep, and giftings in us that God wants to use and our Heavenly Father as our source.
Friday, July 8
6 bombings in different areas rock the comfort and the taken for granted peace that exist within the super power of the world namely "England" Channel News Asia was vivid in their reports about the happenings over there! Pictures of injured londoners and wrecked buses...police and medical officers scrawling all over the place to give the emergency need that the people need. They can cheat death now but for how long? It tells me that life is so fragile that it isn't within our control, it isn't. And yet we demand so much from it knowing that it will wither...youth will wither...accomplishments will age...aged will be wrinkled to bones...bones to ashes...ashes to dust!
please Londoners, know that there is a perfect plan for all of you given by God! Give yourself a chance to know Jesus...He is the living fact of the very person to beat death back into hell. He is the giver of life and will embrace us into an eternity of heaven living. Too good to be true? The bible is written by 44 Holy Spirit filled writers, witnesses and factual reports...how bout the Mormons? how bout the Quran? How bout the Sutras? what is it base on? Do they have a God that actually says that He loves all of humankind and will give His life for them? I know I have and my bible tells me so...HS approved!
Lord, i pray that all rescue operations will be organised and concised to assist to bring all people to safety from harm's way. I pray that this will be a wake up call to the empty churches of london, may all churches in london be of cups that speaks of your Glory, not just glory flow from heaven but people flowing into cups of churches to bring you glory. You are meant to be glorious, magnified and looked upon. So God, stream in the terrified and let this be a revival for London! Jesus touch London cos it is a "opportunity in adversity"
10If you faint in the day of adversity,
Your strength is small.
so God arise the Christians in London! Let them not be afraid but tear down the works and schemes of the devil...right now in Jesus name! Grab the harvest now London!
Thursday, July 7
yesterday morning i woke up from the most unusual of dreams. there i was in a middle os a catastrophe of earthquakes happening all around me. People are running to shelters, buildings after buildings fell as I looked over with a bird's eye view of the whole thing. next thing i knew, I was shipped off in buses with people covered with ashes from head to toe and so was I. there was a certain fear and loss in the air. Women's cries and children shouting and looking for their love ones are pictorial of every angle of my sight. What is this? and I woke.
during the month of june till now, i have been receiving words of knowledge from HS and has been accurate so far. Even in my schedule of fasting, I can actually "hear" how I should be going around doing it so not to be beaten by the flesh. the truth is that it has been difficult, but there are more success than failures, I need to keep returning to God's perspective and it will be better each time.
but I really don't want whatever that I have dreamt to come through. it could be the will of God but i don't know, I never dreamt that kind of dream before and I am determine to pray and find out more. HS you be my source...as I fast not to surrender to flesh but to You. Hence dear Lord replenish me with anointing for You are my provider and knows what I lack beside the food that my flesh needs.
Friday, July 1
It was from Indonesia missions and that one week of high fever, i received word from God that i need higher knowledge of Him. I need to go to a school by this year end. It is going to be a leap of faith cos why? I have no money at all :( I was reckoning and thinking if I can start next April, i can save much money to help me over two terms of studies. Then again, that won't need much of God providence isn't it...verse came to mind Luke 5:5
5But Simon answered and said to Him, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net."
A certain faith needs to be cultivated. I thought it is the comfort God wants me to throw away and His faith that I must capture. Can I believe in His providence? I want to and I am acting on it...it is like holding a torch that will never blow out into the darkest valley you can find, looking for the way out eventually though not knowing where is out, but you have the light (James 1:17) God doesn't want me to suffer, it isn't Him you see, He wants me to be in the embrace of His security, not the world perception of security. Hence repenting is needed! REPENT, breaking the word, "RE" meaning back or return. "PENT" for Pent house, pent house isn't cheap and it is located at the highest point of the building. "REPENT" on my own interpretation, returning to God's point, returning to God's perspective!
If all goes well though I still have to talk to a few more pastors to inquire advice about Theology or Pastoral Ministry...I'll be heading to Theological Centre for Asia (TCA) to do a Bachelors, actually it is like a dream. No one would thought I could get a degree. In God I trust! I am not even sure if the college agrees to my alternative diploma in drama.
However like all play and drama, there is always a introduction or rather an opening act that leads to the main. An opening act happened in my living room two nights ago. God reveal Himself in a word from my mom! Knowing my mom, she would sit me down and discourage me from doing things that will have drastic measures to my future. This time she knows I did very well in arts and the plays that she attended with much encouragement. She was even more over the roof when she knew that I gotten scholarship for my Arts studies. Now I am throwing them all away, to pursue a vision God set for me. Guess what? I reveal God's plan to her, and she replied "Yes, okay Son...good for you!" WAHHHHHHHHHH GOD YOU ARE MAGNIFICIENT VICTORIOUS WONDERFUL GLORIOUS...JESUS!!!! Then she talk about the finance...I gave a grin and told her not to worry bout it. God set me this way, then He'll have a way or me to get through it.
Recently I set myself into a purification process to fast and pray everyday till I see 30 young ppl in my area worshipping Jesus. Things are looking good and also praying for which course to take. Fasting and praying makes me understand who God really is. Not as much on how many hours we pray or fast but the communion with Him each min. Seek ye first...the word first in Greek is "first in time and first in place" shouldn't we think and pray constantly with Him? I will call it daily conversation anytime anywhere...God hubbing (^______^)
Can I walk on water? Only if I fix my eyes on Jesus and not anything else...thank you Ps Joyce and Ps Daniel Cheo for your valued advice, still need to talk to you guys :) but I am very very appreciative of you!
TCA...may the grace of God be upon me to help me make the right destiny decision here! Before end off...GMSS rocks still! hehehe...