Wednesday, November 7
Our Cell Group having a decent meal on Tanjong Beach, Sentosa. As you can see, all of us are very into the food though I did had break fast with some of them before that. The food was great but I only ate half of it. We are there for a baptism service which was quite backwards and things seems to have certain misfits. Well nothing can stand in the way of change except stubborn tradition which refuses to be relevant. There is hope.
Us spending time at the beach was really refreshing after the dull walk through of time across exams and certain issues of mundane emotions which isn't not possible to solve by a simple plea to HS to ask Him to just touch for a tad bit. I haven't seen Roy (Above) for the longest time but he enjoyed himself with the company of fellow girl members Sandy and Cherie-lianna. The play goes on into a frisbee frenzy then into Captain Ball which got everyone quite excited. Daylight slowly passed away as well as the excitement. Soccer arises in the midst and Danny Koh came into
the picture of soccer after eons of yrs.
Tuesday, November 6
Went to the gym and found a electronic weighing machine and behold a 75.5kg registered on the monitor. That means I have still got to work it until a 70kg. Lots of work to be done to shave another 5.5kg sigh. Oh well, must be positive! I am doing great already and feeling fresh running those miles and lifting those weights in repetitions. I really understand how people who are made fun of their weight feel, however the only antidote is not just a phrase of "I love the way I am" but also hard work to stay healthy and tone. Besides God gave us this earth to enjoy and prosper in, if we do not take care of our bodies then how to live to the fullest potential that God would have us be?
I need to exercise, tomorrow is cardiac exercises then Thursday is toning day again.
As I was cooling off with a slow jog down Balestier Road, I pass by a pizza shop that recently opened opposite my place. It was the place where originally my good friend Isaac is to set his coffee shop but now it is a PIZZA shop selling Italian mee and of course pizza. I tried it and give it a 2 out of 5 stars. The crust is too crunchy but the freshness of the fillings are simply great. The garlic bread is terrible but it is good enough for a light meal for dinner. Though I am still hungry. Think I will cook maggi mee later just for a snack, rather than eating a whole meal at the market.
Lynnette! I think I have hotdog arms more than you do. GYABOOOO!
Felt so lethargic lately. Sleeping more than 12 hours and getting little exercise, no wonder the "signs" are showing. Have to put myself on the regime to reach an approximate amount of exercise everyday. Unhealthiness really puts depression on high for emotions. Angela tried to tame it on Saturday when I was in deep thoughts about it. I know that I am who I am and it is okay but it isn't when I know I can be healthier. Sigh! I guess fat people really have it rough where people tease them about their size and weight. These people are so mean. Maybe perhaps God will punish these people by giving them a new body in heaven which has a size where you need an equator for its belt. Teach these people a lesson.
Been listening to chill out music a lot too. Especially "Lee Morgan" some Jazz person or band. He plays music so good, it is almost like enchanting my thoughts and feelings.
I want to talk about God too. Next blog.
Sunday, October 28
Recently went to "Haji Lane" with two of my cell group members, Valerie [looking down] and Sandy [in uniform]. The lane is full of independent designers and vintage espionage exploding left and right of the shop houses. I totally love it there and gotten a pair of earrings for Angela which are totally beautiful. The rustic and fusion of 70's and current trends gives young people today a new experience in shopping concept. Go check it out ya.
Thursday, October 25
Thursday, October 18
I have to blog this. It is the first in history and it has to be with a bloke with no sense whatsoever about soccer being just a game. It is really silly, if any of you were in the mind of ian loy during the argument, it will be like a kid whose candy has been taken away and I am the antagonist. Since when??? I have never had real problems playing the game that I play and this person has to appear and cause the whole galaxy of common sense to fall apart.
Like someone say "Common sense is really not common at all" At the end of the day I must say I contributed to it. But it is really silly, right after the incident, I ran to him and apologize straight! He said I am not sincere...I apologize again...He walked away. Sigh...it is me, I happened to be there and he happened to be there, hard luck or rather a testing of temper. I must say I improved a lot, if I were younger, i would have busted his face. That I have God to thank for really. God is good as His goodness and mercies shall follow me forever and ever.
Well I am the first of Brighton's history to be RED CARDED or banned for a game. So silly, a game of passion turned malicious just by not having a bigger heart. He kept insisting that I am out to injure him??? Then again this person has real issues that only he himself can handle, I cannot help. I played my part and next time I'll just steer away from him if I am ever playing against him again.
I am thinking about 2 Hope again! Hope they can come for BBQ and fun games this Sunday. Are you gals coming or not???
Friday, October 12
Been spending some time watching my favorite Jdrama online titled "Nodame Cantabile Live Action" There are some life lessons I certainly can take over there. She fights so hard just to be on par with someone she really loves and she fights with the things she loves most which is music. She don't dare to face music as it is but to overcome the barrier, she does it in order to be close to him but in turn she becomes a musical genius which Chiaki Sempai already is.
Both of them have the same love but another layer is within which is their love for one another which is subtle but endearing. I need to strive, but for who and what? I need to start journaling, otherwise my students from the AMAZING 2 HOPE will definitely fine this bloggy real lame and boring.
My birthday has passed and boy did I started my own party. Total cost is about $160+ so it is still alright. The girls from 2Hope were their usual self, so happy to see them all, they are like related to me as I am always elated to see them. Though not all of them came but it was okay cos I did invite them in the midst of their exams. Hope it did not cost them any distractions from their revision. Thank you aunties and uncles who let their daughters to my party.
Perhaps it will be the last party I will ever hold for myself. Next time I will rather have small dinner with a few close ones. It isn't because I didn't enjoy myself but there was just a tad feeling of loneliness that crept into the whole "birthdayness" of everything. Angela was there but it felt that she was sacrificing then wanting to come as it showed on her profile. However I cannot complain though she gave me a wonderful pre-birthday bash which I really don't need and don't usually celebrate but she insist so I patronize but it was a really sweet and I am appreciative. It is just that I just do not feel like it.
I am really beginning to suspect it is the nostalgia of my father's death and the whole pacifying thing about my immediate family which made me like this. And of course a whole load of issues which I sincerely offloaded.
I need to do something, something that will build my self confidence up to whole new level, I need a breakthrough. God?
Wednesday, September 12
Tuesday, September 11
Everytime when she shits, that is the exact time I have to clear it. However if i do not do just that, my dear doggie will go to it and munch down as if it is the most delicious dessert made available to her by her. Wah lau! How can a dog be so stupid, eat shit everyweek! Sometimes when she licks me, I am like YUCKS now. Hence every bath time, I will have some dettol and toothpaste with me to de-sanitize the dog. However she is really cure at times where she does whatever you want when you have food in your hands. She sits, she lies down and barks, not forgetting fetching bones and balls. She really has a bad habit. Whenever the food [I mean real dog food] is serve late to her, she throws a princess's tantrum! She runs amok around the house and pulls all the shoes stacked up and jumps around aimlessly to get your attention saying "Where's my food you DUMMY of a human ass, I am going to destroy this house if got no food ROAR!"
Argh, having a dog is a real responsibility. Gonna give it a bathe soon, stinks of something sour on her, hope she is not rotting or anything. Come to think of it, it has been quite sometime since I did something crazy with her like chili padi, and having her in the fridge, what should I try next :) i love my dog.
Tuesday, September 4
God Of My Forever by City Harvest Church
God of my youth I remember
Your call on my life took me over
Your love has seen me through all my days
I stand here by Your grace
On this altar I’ve written my life
Tells of a story I have with You my Lord
I want the world to know
God of my forever and forever I’m with You
My life is saved with a price
Your sacrifice redeemed my soul
God of my forever and forever I will sing
My greatest honor will always be
To serve my Lord and King
God of my all I’ve surrendered
My heart finds its rest in Your word
Praises will not be enough to show
How my love for you has grown
Nothing matters when You’re here with me
In the end just to hear You say “well done”
Bowing before Your throne
Forever and ever
Jesus You alone in glory reign
Forever and ever
With You I walk this narrow way
Monday, September 3
Blogging returns only because my students from CHIJ St Nicholas inspired me to. They are the best bunch of gals that I have taught since i have taught. They are all so cheerful and intellectually engaging. Watching them put up such powerful presentation made my day last Monday.
People say that my blog is dead, but in my life and beliefs, resurrection is real and still can happen, maybe not as how people will see it literally but perhaps from a metaphoric view as well. Life without purpose is also dead, but once a God size vision is placed in your heart, your vibrancy of life goes up the charts once again. I have officially graduated from SOT. What is next?
1) Want to establish myself as a theatre practitioner, be a light and salt in Singapore by influencing trends, not running away from it and stay hidden in the church that might breed righteousness that is self taught, not God thought.
2) Want to grow my cell group from 14 members to 20 members. Anybody interested in joining me? Fun and purpose guaranteed.
So far, this is it. Then of course I have to work fairly hard. Though I have yearning to be a Pastor but I do not have that calling yet. My SOT pastor once said, if you feel that your track is always getting blocked, maybe you are on the wrong track? I am going to grow my gifting and be a great influence. Give back to what God has given me.
God I love my young people, bless them. I love my students also, bless them to stay cute and smart always. Love you 2 Hope :)
Friday, July 20
Thursday, July 19
Sunday, April 29
This is my favorite song and most likely be my theme song for the resurrection of my spiritual being within me for this current times. I need the Holy Spirit.
Intro: || D / / / | A/C# / / / | F#m7 / / / | E / / / ||
LOVE, BECAUSE YOU FIRST LOVED
LIVE, BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU
DIED, SHOWED ME HOW TO
MERCY TAUGHT ME TO FOR
CAME AND POURED YOURSELF SO
BLOOD WASHED AWAY MY
NOW I CAN LIVE A
MORE OF YOU AND LESS OF
|FOREVER YOU WILL||A/C# |
|YOU'RE THE LIFE IN||F#m7 |
|THE WORLD CAN NEVER||C#m7 |
|A/C# F#m7 E |
|Spirit: || D / E / | F#m7 / / / | D / E / | F#m7 / E/G# / |||
Monday, April 23
Sunday, April 15
You must go through the way in which you are not.
"Youth Ministry" has pressed the RESET BUTTON
"My Life" has pressed the RESET BUTTON
There is something about going back to the beginning and with the history of "if only" carrying around the cervix of your brain. The feeling is SUCKY.
From what I can remember this is the list of youths currently attending our Church
1) Liang Jie
2) Carrie Chen
6) Kathryn Keng Yi Tan
7) Jin Xiang
8) Long Hui
9) Roy Lim [Malay influenced]
10) Kollim [Cambodian]
11) Valerie Yip
12) Xiang Xiang
13) Wee Kiat [Goverment Slave]
14) Wei Shan
16) Candice [Indonesian Crab]
17) Hansel [Identity Crisis]
18) Zheng Sheng [China]
21) Tammie Chng
26) Niguel [what the ****]
28) Wilson [Identity Crisis 2]
30) Winston [Vincent Van Gogh]
32) Jia Yan
33) Caesar Nicholas
34) Esther Seet
35) Annabel Oh
36) Jasmine Goon
37) Kelly Tan
38) Sandra Wang
39) Melvin Chia
40) Shawn Wang
41) Kiat Yee
42) Wei Jian
43) Jing Kai
46) Janice goh
47) Tzi Ning
48) Sherlene Leong
49) Elyse Liang [The Singing Nightingale]
50) Reynard Lim
51) Janice Chee [Missing Girl! Any news please call 999]
52) Benedict [Hair]
53) Yan Jun [MM Lee Supporter]
54) Janice Lim
55) Chris Soon
58) Jasmine law
59) Stephanie Lim
62) Freddie Wee [Graphical]
63) Zhi Wei [Fresh from the Amazon]
64) Megan Foo
65) FILBERT [HOW CAN I FORGET YOU!!! My MUAY THAI MASTER]
All this listed above besides the overage young people leading them will be formulated together with the adults real soon. The total number of young people actually attending is supposedly 60+ a fair drop from 80. We are combining together with adults but still having the youth cell groups, we are basically going back to the fundamentals or rather bare essentials of a youth ministry. It is really saddening but in order to give more vibrancy to a pheonix, it must die before rising from ashes, just like Jesus making everything NEW in HIS world.
What kingdom perspective must we adopt for it to work in the coming months...only time and decisions will tell. All is new...work done in the past serve only as reminders of what can do and not do. We ought to be wiser and not say let's forget about it, unless what Danny says come to pass.
Quote Danny "Perhaps we aren't destined to be a great youth ministry"
Theatre. A familarity that breeds a communion that is so strong, it seems attached to my very soul which God packaged it up together with me before the foundations for time. For a season it was flourishing and I gave it all up to pursue a certain passion that closes its doors on me. Not my fault but not my timing perhaps. If I say I am not disappointed I am lying. The one thing I am good at and I turn my back on it. David uses what he knows and not what people put on him.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Ian is going back to what he turned his back on. On the wings that God has placed on his talent to bring him the freedom of creativity that has no bounds. He is to use it and grow it. Though it may not start out that glamourously, however the humility in bred with him at the start of this journey is strong within the spine of his whole being. God I am ready for the arts, allow me to explode only to serve You and allow others to see the magnitude of favor You have put in me.
For now, I am just getting to know that familarity and it was good. Getting better and better each time. I have pressed the reset button but I know what it will bring definitely. I will sweep the floors of the stage I will act in.
Ian will perform end April 07 in a small role in NOTHING by Cake Theatrical Productions and also in June 07 for ARTSFEST "1000 Different Things"
Tuesday, April 10
Satan went into Angela's weighing machine one day and got me a 78kg reading. How can that be?
It is GROSS
It is DISGUSTING
It is EMBARRASSING
It is HILARIOUS
It is NOT IAN
Some people say "Hey you just got to love yourself, I mean all this outer beauty is so shallow, INNER BEAUTY is the new OUTER BEAUTY" Easier said than done. I feel like i need liposuction...the scissors is a few feet away...maybe I could just cut my fats and just bleed to death hmmm [Ian contemplates] PLEASE!!! I just need to be responsible for my diet and exercise from now on.
- No food after 9pm
- No Chocolate treats
- No nice and crispy Potato Chips
Everyone is laughing at me, talk about my man boobs and pot belly. Now I know how Sharon Carpenter felt when a reporter told her that she look "chubby" and all hell break loose to have her dying to anorexic condition. However I will not fall into that trap because I am in control and focus on a image. An image that will carry me far, having me fit and not lacklustre. I am not shallow but I am a representation of who I am really. Inside to the outside, so to all those people out there who call me FAT and chubby, well, GOD will avenge for me, just you wait!
I will shed KGs like I have never done before...10 kg here I come!
Sunday, April 8
today's special is the resurrected brown shoes of Chin Teck and the ever fashion failure on our worship presentation. I am not just a worshipping Christian, or I got nothing better to do but to observe and critique. If this blogging can make a difference then let it be so as the excellence in me wants relevancy and today's cutting edge design and aesthethics to be placed full fledge on stage in performance with our worship that God craves [If I may say so].
today's drama was extremely "TACKY" you cannot help but to cringe at times from the lack of controlled emo of the individual characters that the actors portrays. However the script or the original intent of the play was strong and evident as it proves to be the thread along the main body and transitions of the play. It was the saving grace. Much to think about was the juxta-positioning of the stories that weaves almost into a polar opposites which mirrors the two main cast. Overall it was an okay performance. I give it 2/5 stars but hey...it is only my opinion. Oh ya Huiping did extremely wonderful, I think she out did herself...the rest guess what? It is a great start to a drama ministry's birth.
dead was the answer to a RESURRECTED CHRIST today at local youth service at paya lebar. The air and time actually stood still for me to contemplate during sermon time that our young people have join the dark side. I heard the *ring* from machines for the very first time.
Preaching to today's crowd was like
1) Kicking a cow that refuses to budge.
2) Talking the dog to meow like a cat.
3) Planting mango trees when you want durian.
4) CPRing a person dead like weeks ago.
5) Squeezing out the last bit of Colgate with all of your strength.
That was how it felt. My msg was about the "Forsaken Worm" that we are that Christ chose to be so that we in turn will take on the later transformation which is of a butterfly. What a message it was...perhaps...but I guess God heard it and He was pleased as I sincerely gave it all. The room was just too cold, too alone, too numb to even feel for anyting anymore. POWER, PURITY and PRAYER??? i think they all went out for a walk and forgot to come back.
How God? Today you have the tomb empty, tomorrow you will have us revived to a state which is pleasing before you. I ask for a personal resurrection from what we think is dead inside us...sigh!
Talk more tomorrow. I think I will start writing reviews on movies, some ppl actually like my reviews so I'll give it to them. Take care :)