Friday, October 28

blacklisted yet again

i am really getting the reputation of skipping chapels in TCA. I am not being proud of it but i really want to attend however i need those time to meet out my young ppl or even to rest. Though those times are really good...all of us gathering and stuff, however there just not enough time. I need time! To do my assignments, to check out my granny, meet my young ppl and even time alone to reflect. Today my good friend from bangladesh sms me that Regina [administrator of TCA] wants to make an appointment with me with the dean of students. Hmmm...bad news...never had this problem before. If God sustains me till here, I am sure He'll follow me thru till the end. There is a need of a good student to emerge within me at this dire times of mischieviousness...hehehe...i think (^0^)

Assignment deadlines are approaching! Owe my lecturer a outline of Acts paper. I would need to check out my biblio tom morning at the library.

Ian, you would need to wake up *KOK* alright wakey wakey!There are things to be done tom!

1) Borrow lots books for your two reserch assignments
2) Alter your "COOL" brown pants from Thailand
3) Spend sometime to read the books for your book review
4) Spend closet prayer time
an 85 year old gem losing her shine

my grandma is located at 9C Bed 83. When i first rushed to TTSH and into the emergency department, there I laid my eyes on a very frail lady with whimpering groans setting the atmosphere of lost between me and my gradma. It is almost a total contrast of her the night before she got admitted to the emergency dept. I even had a conversation with her before she took a dump in the toilet about 3am in the morning and now...she is just listless and vexed with this silly headache.

i have decided to get someone who can share with her the gospel in hainanese...perhaps she needs to hear from someone else besides me...she just don't believe the good news when i put it to her or am i just annoying to her *sigh* please HS, speak hainanese to her so that salvation might just go into her and breathe life into those problems old age has! Argh! death...whereas the bible says the kingdom of God is within grasp...she needs to know that...we are living the shadows of Kingdom now. Buddha has no answers to death or dieseases besides the whole thing about past sins, past doings, past this past that...and then next life a mouse, a cow, a horse? What meaning is there? Then in this much good then how much good is enough...i need a miracle...i need HS to make it right for her in this life for He is coming.

the vacant room of hers resonates love, concern and years of gratitude when she tries to replace the much care we needed from our late father with hers by bringing us up together with mom.

a feeling of loneliness suddenly...thought about the blood clot in her is quite impossible to have surgery on that at her age. I look to You, for You to look into this. Pls I emplore you my as you please, for You love us first.

[i will give three reports on thailand soon, it was a eventful and fruitful trip...stay tuned]

Saturday, October 8

this is one of the people God has made that I look up to very much and I pray to be better than him by grace of His. He is Pastor Judah Smith of Generation Church, from a lineage of seven generations in Christian ministry.Me? First generation...yikes...odds are against perhaps or so it seems but hey... that puts me in God's plan as good situation for He makes nothing into something for His mandate. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, October 5

25 years of dust...

had a great birthday gift from my lecturer Prof John K. I was topped in class with six other people in leadership of the new millenium module. It came as a surprise..."jawdropping" reaction pronto! However it was kinda uplifting as I was quite down lately with stress from school assignments and church ministry.

Just after the class has ended for the day, Brother Paul raved the crowd and everyone in my class bout 30 of them rallied to sing the birthday song for me :) it was the most heart warming experience since the Indonesian mission trip. It remembered me of the days back in Bartley where birthdays are a must to be celebrated. Today however is suggestive of the watered down kinda care we might have in ministry, hope this will not prevail towards the future generation. Birthdays are important. Tsk tsk...ian many birthdays of others have you forgotten :P shame on you!

Skipped class today as my good evangelist friend Saion decides for me that my birthday should not be spent in class till like 10pm. Hence we journey out to paint the town RED and we really had fun with a hilarious movie titled "DUKES OF THE HAZZARD" though I really wanted to watch something korean however none was up, too bad. AFter the movie thing we journey to Swensens for some chow down on ice cream, had a free one also due to their all year long birthday promos, how blessed it is *Yum Yum* strawberry ice cream are still oozing out of my mind tantalizing the senses of myself to go get somemore argh...

Okay my birthday is practically that. Sounded boring? Heh...can't be like last time where got gf to celebrate for you or a bunch of crazy young cell members to throw a party for you. Have to be contented, besides for a number of years, my birthday was always left uncelebrated due to my dad's death anniversary a week before my birthday.

Last hour of my birthday, at 11pm. I was with James Pang and Chin Hao. I didn't really expect to call me out but the outing to Popeye's Chicken at the Airport was fantastic. Always loved the airport as it gives my a leaving away for somewhere better kinda feeling, almost a replica of what I feel during worship session but of course worship is much much better...cause Heaven is revealed and I know where I stand.

I am thinking about future now. Perhaps next term, I will not do any project with church besides ministry work and getting my stuff together in biblical pursue. I need focus. Still this term, too many focuses. By grace of God I am getting grounded, day by day...tired though...need to replenish with fresh oil each day, that's why when I topped the class, I knew it wasn't me but by the power of the HS. Thank you for your ever touch in my destiny Lord Jesus.

Nongkhai here I come...leaving for Udon Thani next Tue, so blog readers, stay tuned for more impressions of HS and me.

Monday, October 3

the musical fountain...last i saw it was in like secondary school? oh dear I am that old...going to be older in one day's time :P
this is my gamma group in TCA, we had a night outing to Sentosa to enjoy the musical fountain that started at 840pm...I am tired and burdened by work though :( the hidden msg behind the sheepish smile
this is one of my disciples, Mabel. She is someone who went thru a lot in life, had many disappointments but she knows that Jesus will never disappoint her no matter what. Mabel, come back soon (^____^) God will restore you and make it better than before if you give it all up for Him :)

Sunday, October 2

The Point Beyond The Storm

Luke 8

Jesus Calms the Storm

22One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let's go over to the other side of the lake." So they got into a boat and set out. 23As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.

24The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!"

He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. 25"Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples.
In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him."

The Healing of a Demon-possessed Man

26They sailed to the region of the Gerasenes,[b] which is across the lake from Galilee. 27When Jesus stepped ashore, he was met by a demon-possessed man from the town. For a long time this man had not worn clothes or lived in a house, but had lived in the tombs. 28When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell at his feet, shouting at the top of his voice, "What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, don't torture me!" 29For Jesus had commanded the evil[c] spirit to come out of the man. Many times it had seized him, and though he was chained hand and foot and kept under guard, he had broken his chains and had been driven by the demon into solitary places.

30Jesus asked him, "What is your name?"

"Legion," he replied, because many demons had gone into him. 31And they begged him repeatedly not to order them to go into the Abyss.

32A large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside. The demons begged Jesus to let them go into them, and he gave them permission. 33When the demons came out of the man, they went into the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and was drowned.

34When those tending the pigs saw what had happened, they ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, 35and the people went out to see what had happened. When they came to Jesus, they found the man from whom the demons had gone out, sitting at Jesus' feet, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. 36Those who had seen it told the people how the demon-possessed man had been cured. 37Then all the people of the region of the Gerasenes asked Jesus to leave them, because they were overcome with fear. So he got into the boat and left.

38The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, 39"Return home and tell how much God has done for you." So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.

[Base of current issue and today’s report]

Though the latest happening of a storm is a few thousand miles away from us in the costal states of America, however from the news we can see the extensive destruction this hurricane Katrina had caused. The loss of lives, thousands and thousands of homes that are destroyed, possessions gone and having a future that is bleak.

We thank God for the relief efforts that are reaching out to these people then and right now. However the need is great. The need of a home, mass rebuilding efforts and restoring of what was swept away from that disaster is of massive size.

Right here in Singapore, we cannot say that we are truly blessed from natural disasters of such. It is because storm of that magnitude comes practically in each our lives and most of the times it leaves a deep scar.

Our young popular culture today has a way to tell us how to get a life. Where do they find it? In LAN gaming shops, having a gang identity, running away from home, giving birth at the age 17, BGR at age of 12, taking drugs fulfilling the high for those moments. That’s not all, they come in sort of forms, I need to get a straight A otherwise I am jumping off the building, I am not well liked in school, family hates me and I’m receiving no attention, my half brother is bullying me…I am cutting my wrist, my parents are separating, hence I don’t believe in love anymore, might as well be a homo sexual.

[Main Issue]

That’s the popular culture that young people buy in today that result to a destruction that likens to what a storm can do.

Today I am going to introduce an unpopular culture that might seem simple but not many can grasp it. But we have the HS to help us with that.

The gospel that we have read, Jesus crossing the lake to the other side, similarly to the kind of storm that is hitting and paralyzing the destinies of many youths this generation in Singapore.

Most of us think that the urgent focus is the storm. But I want to tell you today that it isn’t the storm that the disciples went through although the bible suggests that it was their main issue. The storm was not the issue. It was the persons on the other side of the storm that needs to be delivered. That is the real issue and that is the focus.

[God’s salvation]

If we have any sense of how God works, thinks, how he operates and we been reading the bible, getting the truths into our lives. We can understand that our God will take whatever evil the enemy means for our lives, something that is so destructive which puts us in some tragic circumstances and He will turn all those things around and make it work for good and even in the process rescue people’s lives.

Before we go any further, we need to picture this. That the life we are in are somewhat our earthly homes, but there is a spiritual home that exist within yourself that enthrones the living God or yourself that governs your every thoughts, principals and your given destiny. Paul explains this rather concisely in 1Cor 3. Then we ask which is more important, someone’s earthly home or someone’s heavenly or rather spiritual home? It is obvious what the answer is.

There are 3 things that we need to understand about what God is up to and what is happening in the passage that we have read, to understand the point beyond the storm.

1) Realize – that He didn’t cause the storm, but He can stop it

· We need to realize that He isn’t to blame for storm and natural disasters. Many times I here people saying why God is allowing this to happen, where’s God in all this, why God didn’t stop this.

· Is the same reason why God didn’t stop you from sinning? You can choose, you can sin all you want to, you can choose to go your own way. People say where was God when all these disasters and storms are happening? Now where was God when you were you sinning? When you were doing something stupid, why didn’t God stop you from ruining your own life?

· It is the fallen nature of man that sin as embedded itself in the DNA of our living being today that throws the whole system of creation into a chaotic situation. Then sin and demonic forces go hand in hand, with no other particular reason but to destroy human lives, particularly before those people can call on the name of the Lord.

· But hey! Our God is so good that He takes whatever the enemy meant for evil, turn it around and make it for good. Our God is the God that in the midst of the storm kicked up by the devil can save those who call on His Name. You know from the tsunami that happened last year, Hurricane Katrina this year, London bombings, the decaying culture of young persons in Singapore today. For a fact many people are calling out. Many people are crying out. They are calling out for the Lord, they may not understand, they may not have the fluent praying words to pray like we do, but they are crying out and I tell you that God is hearing them. He didn’t cause the storm but He can stop it.

· Do you know why Jesus is asleep during the storm, because it didn’t bother Him. He knows that He needs to go to the other side of the lake, I am not sure if He knows that a storm is brewing, I am not sure if He knows that there is a demonic force working in a man over at the other side! What I do know is Jesus knew He has to go there. When the storm came up, Jesus is asleep, He is asleep because He is at peace, He is in the will of God, He is in the middle of it, in the middle lake, in the middle of the storm. The boat got flooded still it didn’t bother Him. He was like sleeping in the bath tub and is disciples have to wake Him up. He wakes up, see what is happening and He talks to the storm “Shhh…be quiet, that’s enough” and all was calm.

· Now you know He didn’t cause that storm and am going to tell you who did it. Storms or disasters always stop or hinders the work of breakthroughs and revivals.

· There is somebody on the other side of that storm that is waiting to be delivered. Help is on the way. And there is a legion of demons working in the body of that man, owning that territory, wrecking havoc, causing distress among the people of that region. And perhaps these demons receive word that the Son of God is coming and they throw a demonic tantrum over that lake. We need to stop Him, kick up the storm, but it was the ultimate fulfillment of God’s will [Jesus] and the epitome of Faith [Jesus] that in that boat, the demons are powerless. He is coming and He is landing on that beach, the shores of hearts that are crying out to Him. If you are crying out today, help is coming.

· Start realizing.

2) Recognize – the Jesus in your boat

· Storms bring out the best and worst in people. For this instance, it brought out the worst in the disciples. Jesus was planning to build His church on these disciples and plus He is going to leave soon. Leaving the purposed jobs in their hands.

· Not only He rebuked the storm, He rebuke His disciples “Where is your faith?”

· The crazy thing is that they forgot that Jesus was in that boat. You know, generally Messiah don’t sink! Do you think I am going to sink or the whole thing with Peter back in Matthew 16, walking on water, you didn’t believe that? I mean they didn’t have that scripture yet but you know. You don’t believe I am who I am, where is your faith? Come on guys I am leaving soon and we have to start a church and you are all I got. I need a little more faith from you.

· Storm brings out the best and worst. This case the worst in the disciples and when Jesus steps foot on that shore, it brought out the worst in the region. Demons came greeted Him. “What have I to do with you? Don’t torment me?”

· You will find out who you really are in the face of obstacles, tragedies, adversities and confused situation.

· Testimony – Blind who saw [Thai Mission trip]

· When the worst comes upon you, you will know what kind of person you are. Prov 24:18 If you faint on the day of adversity your strength is small. It will expose you and leave you for whom you really are, for everyone to see, no way of hiding, no way because storms will come, adversities will come. That’s why God is telling His disciples always to keep their faith.

· Luke22:31 31“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you[a] as wheat. 32But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

· And Paul too explains to young timothy 1Tim1:18 18Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, 19holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith.

· And our God given youth ministry verse Heb11 6And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

· There is strength to be found in the faith and I am telling you to keep your faith because help will come in your worst times. How?

· You need to trust and recognize in the God that works everything for your good. He wants to set your feet on the rock, He wants to rescue you and He definitely don’t mean for your destruction. Help is coming.

· Realize and Recognize Young People! Cause if you grasp those two elements…restoration is on the way.

3) Restoration – is coming and somebody is waiting

· As we are sitting here, world organization leaders, youth seminars and conferences held by self help, help agencies are discussing about you. Coming up with good programs, character studies, trying to guess and gauge what is the best for young people today.

· They are discussing, organization representatives are coming up with programs after programs, but I tell you those good looking man made programs will never be answers to the problems of the human heart.

· Why? Because most people think that man is inherently good, hence the programs made by them will be good. But I am your leader, some sort of a pastor and representative of God so I am going to tell you the truth!

· And I am lifting up this book because this book says in Rom3 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

· There is none good, not even one.

· Man made programs and discussion have no answers to the sinful nature of today. Hence sinful nature will manifest itself in a snowballing action to self destruction.

· Alike with the demon possessed man, his people do not know what to do with him, they chain him up, manhandled him for he goes into seizures. They have no clue what so ever? The demon got him.

· But there is an answer to all this confusion and distress. You see the main issue is not the storm that you or the disciples are facing.

· But the focus is that they are getting to somewhere that has got people waiting to be delivered. The main issue is that we have youths in Singapore that is clueless about life and looking for answers in all the wrong places and from which they need to be delivered, that is main issue.

· The organizations are giving their best, setting up youth centers, giving the space they need, give out talks about youth issues, soccer clinics, career opportunities, study funds for those who can’t afford, those are good. It gives them the immediate attention that helps them in their desperate needs. We are believers of good will and doing things in good faith.

· But I am going to tell you what is more significant; I am not trying to say that one thing is more important than the other. But it is something that’s significant because it is eternal!

· It is more important for the people who gone through the storm, the people who are at the other side of the lake, people who are involve in those dire circumstances, it is more important for them to call upon the name of the Lord.

· [Talk bout news paper clippings, students running from home, turning homo for solutions, suicides eg] there are people crying out loud that if God almighty is out there, please come and rescue them, out of their circumstances, get them out of their darkness, out of their plights, problems, they are asking for a deliverer and I am telling you that help is on the way.

· Prophet Isaiah says out from the darkness comes a bright light. Book of James confirms that Jesus is that Light. He is our deliverer. The devil comes to destroy but He is here to do good and restore His people. He is the rescuer and He is the one that chose Brighton Youth Ministry to be the leading young men and women to bring deliverance to this generation.

· And you know what is going to happen? That deliverance is going to bring about faith and people are going to stream in, they will come to this ministry. Some might stay, some might not, but for those stay it will be like a prison door opened for them and they are free. Help is here. Restoration is coming and somebody is waiting to be delivered.

[End-Youth Praise Msg 01/10/05]

Wednesday, September 28

woah...that is me on the left and chatting away with Eugene, one of asia's top technical man for events and concerts. this is one guy that wears his heart on his sleeve for God.
q (O___________O) p

the panda strikes at 5am in the morning. Can you actually believe it? I am not sleeping well and it is a growing problem of mine. I remember partly the reason why cec was angry with me before was because of this sort of unearthly behaviour, well, it doesn't seem to go away even the aftermath of distance between us.

I have loads of things due but totally ignoring the urgency. I need to do things and get things moving ian...why am I stopping here and there...oh lazy nature! Get out of my life in Jesus name!

I have just finished a part of a power point presentation of Paul's first missionary journey. The group was like estatic to have appointed me to be their presenter next Monday for the group presentation. I was like "WHAT" kinda reaction when they break to me the was puzzling is why they came to a conclusion of me presenting? I am perplexed.

My father's death anniversary was yesterday. My mom put a odd looking candle outside the house making the feel of the doorstep unusually "indian" HEY don't get me wrong! There is no racial implications here...I love everyone...though there are people I dislike but I have to learn to love them, it is not an invitation to do that but a command by Jesus. He is the man? or rather God.

Okay I think I need to take a shut eye for a moment. Goodnight

(_ _) _ Zzzzz

Saturday, September 24

a mystical night that God created as a shy moon hides behind the skirts of the night alluring is it?

Wednesday, September 21

Stressed out...dying...revived to do Christmas Script (*______*)

I really think blogging in TCA library will be of a habit from now on to really destress and let my blog readers know what I am actually feeling, thinking, reading and a whole lot more together with HS of course otherwise it'll all be just an EGO trip.

Ps Ed Pousson class just ended. Two classes in a row man! Imagine eating two Big Macs one after the other...I was totally *zonked* out in the second session,however I knew it was interesting as we discover how skeptism of Jesus Christ comes about, when lay people start to question and be factful about Him in biblical history and it all begin somewhere back in 1600-1700 i think? Or am I dreaming...better go read man...started with the guy Luther of course :)

My eyes are getting heavier by the minute and still I have to drag my sorry a** to PS [Dhoby Ghaut] for a meeting. So tired! How to rejuvenate like that? I need my bed badly. The lack of sleep since the start of school is getting to me and this is definitely not healthy. Jieyi, if you are reading this...rise up and take ownership soon because i really need to let go somethings in order to do others *sigh* I suddenly remember that I have about 8 books and some articles to hit by this week, otherwise it'll all be too late. "PACKED" week starts next week with block classes happening for two weeks...setiap hari...ahhh puji tuhan...only HS can help me. Pray that passing my examinations is part of His divine plan for me. I can only have that nothing else

I need to run off to PS Steph and Jieyi...think I will go take a snooze on the bus, if not, I wouldn't be in a mood to talk stuff. Christmas script is still undone! AHHHH, what am I to do? Pray and believe in God's divine plan for everything, however not with sitting on my butt and do nothing.

And to those people who keep asking me about the mystery girl? Pay $2000 and find out :) cos I sincerely need a laptop.

Tuesday, September 20

Hours of reading @ TCA library

struggling to get thru the 28 chapters of Acts...I think I have a few more chapters to go. I am slow because there are a few incidents recorded within the chapters which I don't understand and I have to like read two or three times in order to have a vague idea of what Doc Luke is trying to tell me the "practicing" youth that how to improve ian...aiyo! I need rheama desperately, not by might nor strength but the SPIRIT of God.

Later tonight I have to finish up Christmas script which I have owed Yanping and Lai yien for the longest time. It isn't about me procrastinating. When there is no inspiration, nothing will really move my mind and fingers to do the script passionately and in the end, I would only produce something half baked. Well I have to finish it by tonight with God given "BURNING MIDNIGHT OIL" powers. The script that I am writing for Christmas is titled "Hope Not Found" I am so going to make it a soapy and outrageous play, where makes people stand and take notice of the horror that of humanity is :P it is true what...humanity always have self destroying motives, what the bible says is very much a fact. Hence we need Romans 12:2, constantly renovating our minds to the works of God and not of the values and cultures the world want to sell us. If we buy into those temporal things, it'll pass away and we will definitely be crumbled.

Aiyo (*______*) I only have 10 more mins on this blogging spree. Now is like 10 to 5pm. The library closes for dinner at 5pm and reopens at 6pm, however by then I would need to prepare for my research and report writing class. Though I would reckon that during the class, I would be thinking on how to write my script later on in the night. Drama was my passion and my bane...right seem like going to an old house which I used to stay and put in my box the things that I have left there and bring it back to my new house. Better remind myself not to bring anything that will decay my new house which is not mine but His.

Praise to be given to Him always for without Him, there is no me to begin with :) eh...suddenly remember that Angela just came back from some ulu place in Malaysia. Ps Danny asked us to query Angela if she saw any "FIREBALLS" from the heavens in that ulu place which was reported in Malaysian newspapers...if there was, I hope she took some photos man! Can you imagine? Fireballs from heavens *ian chuckles* I would be like awed for real, however I am very much awed by the lives being changed daily within the scope of people God allows me to meet. And the various miracles that happened in Nongkhai which God also allowed it to happen for my knowing, so that I can tell the world of His wonders.

Thank you Jesus.
A forbidden fruit that dangles

25 years of age October that is! How celebrative or sad it can turn out with the kind of thoughts that builds up till that day of my birth. I never really want to celebrate my birthday but who am I kidding? I love the blowing of candles and people singing the birthday songs for me, I am such a sucker for such birthday cliches, however a part of me wants to kill it and let the lonely me emerge. Why? Do I not honour the God that place me in this world? Do I not want to grasp the destiny given to me by HS Himself? What is it?

It isn't about God. It is my flesh crying for companionship and I have been suppressing it for longest time with the blessings of great friends and biblical truths that sustained me till now. However that cannot deny my thoughts about it...Is this why God say it isn't good for a man to be alone? I am sure He has His reasons for saying that and I just have to wait for Him to unveil the answer page to a book called Ian's love life. I am feeling terrible but I choose to wait. I rather God destiny than "MY" choosing...still I do not deny the fact that my ex girlfriend has been a lot on my mind in recent times. Really love her lots though previous circumstances doesn't seem right for us to be together. But now? Forget it...she is trying to stand already, she doesn't need another bloke like me to hurt or discontinue something which she has already started in her new life. All the best to her...frankly she is one person that I find it really difficult to put aside sinful I am and yet God chose me and showed me the various wonders by Him.

*Secret* I think I just may have the hearts for someone...but than again I need to suppress it. It isn't the right time, it might not be her also right ian...tsk tsk. Jesus, I need to look to You to get out of this mess of thoughts because You are preparing me for something BIG.

I was doing my sermon on "Will The Real Strong Christian Please Stand Up?" and it was the last point about...3) Seeing the Salvation...and I had a mind block! I prayed and God prompted me in a soft voice, "ian, go take a short nap right now!" I was like WOAH...okay perhaps there is some dream kinda revelation HS wants to reveal to me because this wasn't the first time. Hence I slept and slowly it began.

I was found standing on a big square with parquet flooring
nice lightings and mass of people filling the square hall in
small clusters here, there and all around.Then a sharp pain!Realised
that I was hurt.From amidst the mass of people,emerged a little girl
with a first aid box seemingly running to me and she did.I asked her
"Who are you?"
She says "I am your daughter, silly dad"
And she tended to my wound.
Next a tugging of my arm brought my eyes to a young boy
and he said
"Dad,look out there!The world wants to conform me but I won't let it"
This boy is my son.

I woke up with amazement. A half hour nap that made me think very much. However an ease came in, why? Because I knew somehow that in my dream,the square hall was my church and if my son and daughter emerges from the mass of people in there with such character shown. I am rest assured that the church is fulfilling the cause of Jesus! Onwards Brighton Youth Ministry, to raise up young men and women differently from the world's popular culture. Thank you Jesus, for such divinity within your given dream.

Tell the world that "Jesus Lives!" don't forget ya ( .V. ) p

Monday, September 19

I will not be overcomed by this pizza! I am a real strong christian and I am standing up to you...ooh am so eating you right now ( .V. ) Andrea below battling with her *JEDI* kinda look on her pizza, whether to eat or not to :) Posted by Picasa
can you see that i am wearing Africa? I have heart for africa as well, I am gonna be better than reinhaard bonnke (Left-JiaJun) and me wearing the 77, perfect number for a perfect God to help me in our imperfect life...Love you Jesus! (Right-Sean) Posted by Picasa
look at the spread...who says we are ill treating our younglings! Onwards to growth *MUNCH MUNCH* Posted by Picasa
yes,i am eating my chicken so can you grant me so PRIVACY before i *puke* on you :) Posted by Picasa
welcome to the a event that will make you a few kilos heavier! Junk Food Fest 05 *rawks*  Posted by Picasa

Sunday, September 18

What is My Destiny?

[Short Skit]


Ah Boy

Ah Boy is playing his favorite XBOX game. He is reaching his final level when his game character died.

Ah Boy: Almost … almost …almost…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh man! Have to start the whole level all over again. Argh! [Continues game, father enters]

Father: Son?

Ah Boy: Not now Dad, I am in a LIFE and DEATH SITUATION right now….Die you stupid aliens!

Father: Son, you are going to BE in a life and death situation if you don’t answer me properly. Now I want to have some time with…

Ah Boy: Cheat code…XYZ up down left right… God mode!

[Father reaches over to turn off the television]

Ah Boy: HEY! What’s wrong with you? Who do you think you are?

Father: [Dumbfounded] Ummm… your father?

Ah Boy: I KNOW, but I was trying to complete the game dad and…

Father: I need to talk to you regarding certain things in your life. Now your grades aren’t doing very well. Even your pet subject is a just passed. Is there something troubling you?

Ah Boy: No dad, nothing is troubling me. Even …even the best person fails at times what. That’s what you always tell me right? So the more I fail the more I succeed. [Looking sheepish]

Father: [Pause and looks at his son, disgusted by the way he answered] you know, I think you spend too much time with that girl; I want you to stop seeing her!

Ah Boy: WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? And she isn’t just a girl, her name is BERNADETTE, she is 14 years old and she is beautiful. You haven’t even see her yet…I mean her eyes…her milky coloured skin…her hair as the winds blows by her…You just don’t know her Dad. Why are you so controlling?

Father: Because I am concerned and I care about you!

Ah Boy: Then give care to someone else because I don’t need someone to control my life, I am old enough. I am “15” yrs of age, I think I know what is right and what is wrong!

[Father gotten fed up with his excuses, plugs out his XBOX and leave the room]

Ah Boy: GREAT! Take the XBOX, I don’t need it, I am a grown man! I am 15 yrs…yup I am 15…KING OF THE WORLD! [Sits in a corner contemplating]

[Few weeks later]

Ah Boy: [on phone] Darling, baby…why? Now he is not better than me. What? Just, just because he has more handsome than me and you are leaving me to be with him? But I given you everything you asked and I starved for almost a month, played truant, skip classes, failed exams and gotten scolding from my dad. Come on…without you…I am not the King of the world anymore, please don’t leave me… [Hang up]

[Long pause] [Father enters the room and sees his son…with much guilt Ah boy makes subtle eye contacts with father. Father opened up his arms]

Father: Come. [Gives a big hug to Ah Boy]


Friday, September 9

if you are passing by here and you are looking at this, let me tell you that bright smiling days like above can exist everyday, come check us out and we will tell you how :) Posted by Picasa
because of God's love...this is what family is all about, inseperable! Posted by Picasa
during the camp, we learnt how to laugh at ourselves as well... Posted by Picasa
this is my Brighton Youth Family @ Last June Camp 05...we had quite an amazing night (*____*)^ Posted by Picasa

Sunday, September 4

this is me (in green), the author and creator of this blog, always giving glory to the author and creator of my life.Here i am helping Dorea (right) to fix her computer. Posted by Picasa
the hunks of wildlife, except for Jieyi (the only girl there) trying hard to be one *puke* hehehe no offence. Just look at Eugene in the Elvis Presley wannabe mode :0 Posted by Picasa
the girls of wildlife...with exception of eugene (in orange) trying hard to be one :P Posted by Picasa

WILDLIFE from Brighton Youth Ministry...Join us and you will give yourself a chance to know this person Jesus that will change your life around no matter where your life stands now! Posted by Picasa

"Now where is that missing piece?" sean and jia jun said. Posted by Picasa

just look at the junior youth at work man! Guys vs Girls, see who can piece the puzzle of a certain bible verse the fastest...hurry girls (*____*) Posted by Picasa
with this sort of goliath looking so glum, of course the victory is with God's people...hahaha...Jeremy as goliath, getting ready for the renactment. Just look at how Jieyi is smiling behind him, it is a joy to learn bible truths together as an area :P Posted by Picasa
David and Goliath friends????? Nah...the Wildlife youths Sean (left) and Jia Jun (right) are doing a renactment stating that they have to be larger than life Christians to conquer things in life that seem overwhelming. Take out those BIG FAITH man!!! Posted by Picasa
oh look at our youth director (in baby blue) singing unto our Almighty. This is one of our Youth Praise sessions on Saturday,an awesome time we had :) Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 2

first week of school ~ ending note

prayer helped me through this week, knowing that His presence is my comforting pillar always in class, in chapels and most of all in my assignments. There is really much to be done after many years away from books. Study warm ups has already began. However, flipping to the bible and read wasn't the main idea. I tried to read Book of Acts, failed terribly, why? Because I cannot understand it at all. I was so frustrated that I prayed, then focus was gained. I realise where I stand before Him and reading the bible isn't of an academic achievement kinda medium but of a life changing and spirit reformation process. I am knowing Him, as I read the book. It is like I have found my best friend's diary and I find a seclude spot to read about his works and life stories, how intrigue can that turn out? "Very" I am telling you. Once you have established who you are before God, reading the bible reveals much as the HS opens up spiritual eyes to areas where on occasions you find it bewildering.

I took 5 subjects but decided to drop one as I need to adjust myself just for this term. The subjects are:
  1. Book of Acts
  2. Research & Report Writing
  3. Life of Jesus
  4. Leadership in the New Millenium
  5. Spiritual Formation of a Minister

I have dropped Spiritual Formation as a Minister as I felt and forsee an overload of assignments, perhaps just too much for me to handle for first term. I need to have a feel of it first so I can gauge myself to prepare for next term better. That course that I dropped has a new lecturer and as I was thinking of which subject I should drop, God works in the lips of His people :) how? They feed me with info about his employment like he is new, came in with a business financial kinda background, however graduated from TCC with a Masters. I reckoned he will go all out and be at his best for first term, so guess what? i decided to drop his class. He will be much ethusiastic about teaching and giving "much" assignments. This is his first term so his first class will be his gauge, I pray and sensed that I should go for his class in the next coming terms, not now in my first.

Assignments are really "fun" right now though a tad bit dry but the amount of readings given is giving me new perspective of the Jesus I knew and concepts of the bible writers are trying to convey. It is like uncovering treasure that is hidden within the mass amount of wordings, HS I want more understanding to uncover more truths, so that transformation of self can happen everyday. Ending note of the week is like me at the foot of a mountain, looking up in all aspiration, knowing that as I climb it, I'll be going at it strength to strength...thank you Jesus...I have started because of You 10 years ago, You revived me 2 years ago from waywardness and now You are building me in spiritual strength! Love you HS...More of You please but there must be less of me :)

wanting wisdom from the fear of God...amen

Monday, August 29

"blacklisted" on the first day i think (*_________*)

perception is a very powerful thing...this sentence crawled all over me today during my orientation. First of all, tell me why would an organisation put lessons on orientation days? I mean don't you need to be oriented to the flow of the school programs and schedules before starting anything? Ahhhhhhhh...however I have only myself to blame. Why? because I didn't look at my lesson plan properly as it stated 9.50pm - ACTS Lesson by Lecturer Lily Lim...*ian smacks his head* and I happily strolled into orientation and listened to boring but important guides into the schools belief and regulations. When suddenly it was break time, the facilitator of the orientation was actually Lily Lim and she asked me why I wasn't in class this morning???$^*%%&(%*) I was white washed :( and embarassed! told her truth that I didn't know anything about it and that I thought wrongly. I apologise like profusely...she gave a weird giggle and told me it was fine. Well that was a relief!

Made a really good friend in the same course and his name is "Safire Saion" He is one cool dude made by the Lord and delivered to do great stuff in future for his hometown in Bangladesh. He is of third generation from a family of Evangelist, I was listening to his testimony and I was thinking what rich heritage he has. Can somehow sense that anointing was bestowed upon him, greater than the previous generations. God please bless him in his time here as he will bless your name in Bangladesh. The week has just began for me. Looking good (^______^)^

Saturday, August 27

a revelation @ 215am

oh God my Father. I come to you through Jesus Christ, my Savior. You have put in my heart a desire for the fear of the Lord. i am asking You from now on to lead me, to teach me, to impart to me this wonderful treasure of Yours "the fear of the Lord" in the name of Jesus, Amen.

Proverbs 2:1-5
1 My son, if you receive my words,
And treasure my commands within you,
2 So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding;
3 Yes, if you cry out for discernment,
And lift up your voice for understanding,
4 If you seek her as silver,
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
5 Then you will understand the fear of the LORD,
And find the knowledge of God.

i'm crying for the desire that is within me. I need more to go to another level of intimacy with Him. What I have now is not enough and how can my heart be contented...i need to seek and seeking needs a purpose,"Understanding the spiritual fear of my God" However I must first establish His word and commands...HS I need to be a Junkie not just the in the spirit but also in His Holy Word.

Going to bible school on level to chase for God...Thank you Jesus!

Tuesday, August 23

ObsessionConference 05 that happened during June...just stumbled upon this photo, didn't know I had it, but it is always amazing to see people engaged with the presence of God. "Hey guys, lift your hands higher man!" Posted by Picasa
like spiritual babies craving spiritual overnight prayer meeting that just happened recently at Orchid Country Club that gathered all the youth leaders to pray fervently for this generation of young people. (left to right) Rey,Collin,Me and Aly. Posted by Picasa
this is GTO [Great Teacher Onizuka] God wills I would want to be a GPI [Great Pastor Ian] for now I will continue to conscrate myself in order for God to use me mightily (^__________^) Posted by Picasa
HS[Holy Spirit] Junkie

to go all out or not to? a half-past six Christian or a full on HS Junkie for Jesus? Of course a HS Junkie lah...I mean when you have believed in something and open the doors of your heart to somebody who has chosen you since the beginning of time, won't you like just be consumed and be ultimately in love. When you invest love in something, it changes your life pattern and it contorts your personality into something different, because it is this love that drives you to express care and devotion, which other people who don't love or involve in wrong love cannot experience. I am talking about a higher kind of love, a spiritual one that was given by God in the form of Jesus...dying to allow the void that exist in us to be filled forever, rather than what the world wants to put in that void of ours that are temporal. He is forever and if we make that decision to put this love in Him, then we got to go all the way to be a HS Junkie, wanting more of Him always and expressing our love for Him in our actions which are willed by Him. However being a HS Junkie isn't all that "sunshine and flower" always. Why? Read this:

2 Corinthians 4

7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. 8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death is working in us, but life in you.
13 And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written,“I believed and therefore I spoke,”[a]we also believe and therefore speak,14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you. 15 For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.

paul [HS Junkie as well] writing to the Church in Corinth. Telling them that troubles and confusions will hit them but rest assured they will bounce up from it, all because of what's dwelling within them. Paul explains that the treasure (Jesus) that is within them will manifest itself as it is the Christ that put death into their flesh so that He may be displayed in glorious fashion within the human vessel. What priviledge it is for us to have this relation with Jesus to dwell in us! v10-12 describes that we are like dead men actually walking. Also read Gal 2:20

There can be two reactions when people see dead people walk:
1) They scream and run to the nearest shelter, telling others to run as well from zombies because it isn't the norm
2) They get stunned and question how is this possible and they would want to know the answer!

If you have chosen to be a HS Junkie, you will be a dead person walking! And you have the answer to those that wants it...cos it Christ that lives in us, that we (the flesh) is dead. We have the answer and we need to provide it. Not to be gory bout zombies and dead people because Paul did explain us as "treasure in jars of clay" but I guess you get the picture.

HS Junkie has it's previledges [
7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.]

We have God on our side, and there is a given power and authority from Him that is exhibited through our lives that will speak of Him and not us. Once He filled our void, emptiness that the world bring through many mediums will start to die away, that's why the bible says in John that there must be more of Him and less of us.

HS Junkie has it's troubles [
8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. ]

Troubles may come but never will we be beaten down, because the hopeless death that exist within ourselves are given the hope that is in our Risen Christ! We will and are made alive because of this fact. He is the hope that our dead flesh is bound to and this changes our lives as a HS Junkie. We are given hope hence we can NEVER be beaten down by anything if we hold fast to the life of Jesus given in grace.

HS Junkie must walk the talk [
13 And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written,“I believed and therefore I spoke,”[a]we also believe and therefore speak,14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you.]

We are the self confessed HS Junkie, we lift our hands to allow Him to come and be sitted in the throne of our hearts, we are of the same faith and spirit! Henceforth we cannot cease to contain all this goodness that exist within us. Like paul, he believed and he spoke about it because he knows what exist within him and he is with us, a HS Junkie. He told young timothy in 2 tim 4:

1 I charge you therefore before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at[a] His appearing and His kingdom: 2 Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; 4 and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. 5 But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

We are the young Timothys of this generation and I believe Paul the HS Junkie is encouraging us not deny ourselves as the treasure in the jars of clay, which is us and that when hard times come we need to hold on to that truth which is Jesus then we will prevail against all opposition. Paul also encourages us to spread this this good news that is within us to bring glory to the name of God. The ultimate teacher Jesus also says in
Matthew 5:14 - You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Let's not hide our HS Junkie identity nor deny it due to pressures from school, workplaces, friends, families or even church mates from other churches. But continue to stand firm in our beliefs and values written in the word that is given by God, expressing it always because we have the faith within us that God will do the delivering, we just do what is required of us. That is to love and worship Him inward and outwardly. Singapore! Get ready for a Brighton Youth HS Junkie Movement...that will change values and cultures! Bringing hope to those who think there isn't one

...Are you willing to risk your reputation and be a HS Junkie?

I am willing :)

Thursday, August 18

my fave actress Ye Jin is starring in upcoming "April Snow" with Mr Bae...gonna be another tear jerker...sigh! I wanna KOREA!!! (*_____*) doesn't she look beautiful...hmmm Posted by Picasa