Saturday, February 26

Today I spend the day praising and worshipping God. Listening to some parts of sermon as well to pick up on skills. I don't fancy myself to be accomplished but it is this anointing that comes with the innocence of learning and purity of life seeking Him. All praise to Him.

Rejected a job of $350 a day on all weekends for four weeks. Instinctly HS told me,"Ian turn it down or you won't have time for me and my kingdom. You know you didn't come in the house with money in your thoughts. You are in the house without slippers, you know that He is holy and the place you stand is holy. Be holy" I turned it down. My friend gotten a shock, well not everyone understands what we need to do in order to love Him and not compromise our love for the Faith. Worthy is the Lamb, Holy Holy are you Lord God Almighty!

Spend some thoughts about youths this evening. Even a rehearsals I am thinking how can we aspire youths towards God and be on FIRE 24/7. Jesus help me here, give me wisdom, in the name of Jesus Amen.
"...The world cannot accept him,because it neither sees him nor knows him.But you know him,for he lives with you and will be in you.I will not leave you as orphans;I will come to you." John 14:17-18

A promise that I look forward to. A reama which I have tasted this morning and will not forget or rest easily with. I love Jesus.

Friday, February 25

No one is going to stop me from forgetting about her. I need to because it is hurting and it is so making me depressed. I am going to stick to my decision this time.I threw away almost everything. Deleted numbers. Am I all set to go? Irritating feelings these are such of that kind of love. Pettiness gotten the better of us in the end. It is conclusion. No more mentioning bout it no more ian :) On a lighter note, I am glad God gave me opportunity to be part of Brightonyouth and upgrading my gifts slowly but surely in terms of his word. I thank all the teachers who had me to be serious with Jesus. If not...I will totally destroy myself! ian signing off. Need to do work already (*_________*)^

Wednesday, February 23

happy birthday collin! He is one super-banged person...thank you Jesus! Posted by Hello
the future worship leaders,cell grp leaders,intercessors,prophets,youth pastor, apostles...and so forth...the possibility is as high as where God stands! Go forth youth of Brightons, take the BIBLE and slap the devil out of this world!!! Posted by Hello

Thursday, February 17

youths who believe they can make a change in this world by God's grace...amen :) Posted by Hello

Tuesday, February 15

Things with girlfriend seems bleak yet again :(

Yesterday suppose to be great as I was so looking forward to meet her. She mentioned City Hall and that means our fave eating place at basement one. Cecilia looked terrific with red and denim shorts, smelt good too, as always. Well I did postpone bible study with my cell leaders to meet her cause I really think we don't spend time with each other enough.

Story continues...All looks bright as we sat in the Japanese eating place...or so it seems. I passed her the promo brochures for the play I am acting in. She wanted to come so somehow I just told her that okay then price of the play is $25. Never did the complimentary tickets I already acquired came across my mind. It is like wiped out from my memory. All I knew was that one of the ticket is for my mother, the other is pending or giving it to one of my younger folks in cell group. She "FLARED" up...she thinks that I prepared another ticket for someone else or she thinks that I do not respect her or put her in focus enough to give her that complimentary tickets. I tried to rescue myself telling her that I will buy the ticket for her, she then say it is different. The whole atmosphere changed because of a lousy ticket that only last two hours of a performance, compared to a lifetime I want to spend with her. Everytime this kind of things happen, there is always a thought sitting in the window of my head jeering me , " you sure she's the one? come'on who are you kidding?" What am I to do? The late lunch turned into a silent torture as we were yet to finish our was so awkard...inside myself I was suppressing the fuming frustrations. Then as we walked out of the building she asked me where to go now? Silly me replied,"You can go home now?" "You really want me to go home?" she exclaimed. Then came out of my mouth,"Just go" And I turned myself and walked the other direction.

I am really sick of all this small things. She can't see big. She sees things of now only. My fault, I shouldn't even invite her to the play. I should mumb it all down. I am not going to see her till I don't know. Told her after the production ends, which means I'll miss her birthday. Everytime when nearing her birthday, things just happen, situations between us just become worst. Perhaps I am not the man for her. You know what James, why don't you just jump on the wagon of my misfortune!!!

Perhaps it is good also. Like this, I won't need to postpone anymore bible study or anything for anyone. Can become Judah Smith even faster...Jesus, I need grace! I really mean it.
Insomia for the don't how many days!

Just couldn't get myself to sleep. What's happening man! Keep thinking about how to be an excellent youth pastor, how to abstain myself from getting into minor sin which will bring my Almighty identity in Christ tripping and falling into a turmoil, thinking about my dear on how much I actually miss her,thinking about marriage which seems far as my future is bleak from where I stand, but in God's term it seem great.

you know it is great to know the ending, how you are going to finish off. However, many people can start something but fail to finish off what they ought to become! I don't want that. I am also thinking about Ops Mackers, sincerely think it is a joke though at first. But HS showed me that He is in charge, not me, not puny little humane me. Miracles are brewing, I can feel it, but in His timing. How impatient are man nowadays. Perhaps because of instant mee, instant photos, instant products...everything is instant. Hence waiting virtue is of the past.

Jesus, get me waiting for you. A generation that always as for a sign. But you are the God that says "Worship me without one" I need to hang on to HS...HS I rededicate my life to you this wee hour! GREAT PASTOR IAN (GPI) Beware I come!!! Jesus fill me and grant me divine dreams as I lay. A young man awaits vision from you at a block in Whampoa


D Em7
Change my heart, O God
A7 D
Make it ever true
Bm7 Em7
Change my heart, O God
A7 D
May I be like You

F# Bm Em7 D
You are the potter, I am the clay
F# Bm
Mould me and make me
E A7
This is what I pray

Sunday, February 13

a Sunday that I fail to go church...

had too much of good food the night before. Prata bomb,ice milo,prattaya nasi goreng and stuff. Really guilty of substituting those with a time of upmost expression and adoration for God of the Universe. Missing out on the word which brings life??? What am I more late nights for me on Saturday.

Yesterday met up with two of the GMSS girls under the umbrella project of "Ops Mackers" They were selling the purity bands which were going at $2 per pax. I bought like ten and that cost man! But I guess it is for a good cause, for a turn good nympho like me, aiyo. Jessy was mith me while we chill out with the two girls at starbucks (paragon), jessy was wonderfully generous as she treated all of us to Frappicinos...yahooo! She gave a comment though after the session..."Ian, you are on touchy person" is something that gets to me or irks me which I am not sure myself. Why on earth must I be touchy when I talk to people!!! I don't know, but I know that I am not being questionable or have intention to lead anyone to a wrong idea. Touch is an immediate communicating tool which I use a lot...need to unlearn somethings.

The girls are non-christians and yet they are willing to go thru Bible Study with us. I am like wow! Think I'll let Shella do the study...hehehe

My stomach is unwell. Bet I missed much during service, with all the new things going on...I will need to go consecration time with my God and I. To get back myself that He truly desires. Thoughts of damn keep coming back to me. If this continues, I can't be like my hero, Judah Smith.

My dear Cecilia I have not seen...miss her much...need to rest my tummy argh!

Saturday, February 12

Finished a most incredible show after a fruitful time of Cell Bible study at Pastor Tiak's house today. The show was titled "Million Dollar Baby" As I watched the show, I can't help putting God into the picture of this cine experience because the story is about a budding young girl boxer looking for a chance to bloom under a harsh tutorage of a coach who doesn't want to coach her in the beginning, until later that he sees the sincerity of her will through drastic actions and lifestyle to wanna be the best boxer around. It leaves me to think...she wanted so much to embrace her dream to be a boxer, do I have that much to embrace the vision God gave me, to be a youth pastor...stupid ian...get your lazy ass and start working on your Bread (Bible) out your spiritual appetite, you'll need it before a fight, what am I saying...every MOMENT OF LIFE IS A FIGHT ( .V. )

My dear is sick...God watch over her...cos she is the one you sent to love me no you help her in her ill times the name of Jesus! Love you Lord, Love Cec.

Tuesday, February 8

Me and one of my best friend getting "married" Cheerios to Manhood...!!! Posted by Hello