Thursday, January 26

the God that birth the arts within me...where i found the word passion for the first time

yesterday i went to Lasalle-SIA with Winston for he had an interview waiting for him likened to a final hurdle that he needs to go through before admitting into his lustre of dreams waiting to be cultivated within the vessel of a God moulded clay called "Winston"

there he was walking into the interview room and I? I was having a conversation with the school administrator about a possible degree course that they could offer me on scholarship for a year starting in July06. This information got me thinking and God given wisdom churning...what is next for me. In three years if i continue to do my TCA studies, I'll get a degree, howeverin another scenario if I continue my studies as part time in TCA and do a degree in Theatre ARts then upgrading to a masters for my theological studies, all this can be done in three years as well.

1) 3 years = degree in Theology
2) 3 years = degree in Theatre Arts (On scholarship) + Masters in Divinity

i am in a fix...what i ave been praying for finally came in this sort of an answer. I hear from people saying that this is not God's answer and I should shut it up immediately or I hear should focus and not go by the wayside to be distracted by such. But do they know my prayer life? Or are they putting their advises on me based on the "ian" they know that backslid 3 years ago? Then what happened to Jesus advise to Peter in Luke 22?

31 And the Lord said,[a] “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

what this passage is saying that the Lord Jesus heard of the plans of Satan to destroy Peter's life and here Jesus is explaining to Simon Peter that he(the devil) is coming for you, but hey no worries for I have prayed for you. It really seem like his calling was all lost in his denial and back to fishing days [by the way he didn't give up totally on fishing business quoted from historian who studied the gospels closely, cos they can't be just receiving alms from the multitudes, if so they would have much uproar of financial questioning from the Romans and spiritual leaders] I remember Jesus say to him before in Matthew

18 And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. 19 And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed[a] in heaven.”

God Jesus knows that Peter is to be the head and not the tail, the above and not beneath, He meant success for Peter. So which ever turn that Peter took, it will lead him to where God wants him to be. Can a calling be lost? I think of calling as a view of perhaps a sunrise and you are overlooking it over a fence and you have to tiptoe over to see its beautiful arising, however the the tiptoeing is the part that have to be going on...tiptoeing will be the faith that carries you to do the work to see the beautiful part. "Calling" will always be as sure as the Sun, it matters of whether the faithfulness will be there to capture it.

I said it before and I'll say it again that God does not commit to talent, He commits to character and the cornerstone of character is faithfulness. I am faithful to Him all this while and I am not about to give up. I have been praying about my uncertain future and this comes, i need to think about it seriously and pronto. I am meant for success, the Word says it, I am it. If I am doing whatever that I do in His glory, His glory will carry me calling to Youth Pastorship...there will be reasonings, there will be many eyes and opinions that wil pave my option if i choose this path,

how many will believe in me?
how many will stop placing the shadows of the past and God perspective on me?
how many will see that this will go through as a blessing?
Why they place opinions of a mistake I did when I was a spiritual babe?
I can't do it? Seriously what should I do?
I am praying and the door is shown, if the door is shown, should I pray even more and wait upon Him?
The door is given as my prayer is answered and people ask me to wait and be patient to see what God says? I am dumbfounded. Does God work that way? I don't see that happening in Peter's life...sigh I am meant for success and He will carry me through.

I am called to be the head and not the tail, He'll make me the above and not beneath. The next thing I need to do is to seek out my mentor's advise. My past may be rubbles but i understand in God's way that rubbles are gems for His glory to shine...Lord?

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