never thought I could just let go...it has been a week and in four hours time it'll be my birthday. How "wonderful" spending the eve of my brithday alone.

Wish God can be a pal and hang with me downtown.There was a time when all this happened before. The thing about these downs is that they leave you with a revoking after taste in your life.And in this matter, it is about a relationship that went on for two plus years.I want to stop thinking about it but can't. Hope it isn't a curse, but the fact of the matter is that it got off in the wrong foot.Gotten together in my least spiritually strong era.And now God gave me more and telling me to stop, I did.All I did in His command...What He want of me?...I am running away now, like Joseph to Potiphar's wife, I want to run. Dear God, teach me to run please! I'm on my knees. I want a refresh anointing upon my life to burst out from the ashes of sluggard gloom. I need to grow. Give direction Father!

Police days are ending in three months time. It was like yesterday which I will complain non stop about it.Can't wait to start the whole theatre engine working again, though money does come into an issue. I owe Mrs Koh $586 for the Korean trip.You know, she told me that the trip was $1500, never did she say about the tax or anything of surplus.I need to go away for awhile after this, need to find God in all areas.Need to remind myself to pay $$$ of course...sigh...I need a sugar mommy! Or a DIVINE INTERVENTION to let me get my hands on some cash to pay her back. Literally living off with scraps...I am that poor.God if I don't pay you your dues, pls warn me harshly...Cos the thoughts of evil desires arises everytime I thrive in your SPirit.

I thank God for Angela, Mel and Serena. They stood by me when I am at the bottom of the pits. God pls give them portions of blessings which they truly deserves.

I wanna be alone with Him now.Cheerios ( .\/. );;